


Home Is Where the Heart Is

by mean_whale



Series: Freedom [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Katsuki Yuuri, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Claiming Bites, Crying, Discussion of Abortion, Face Slapping, Fights, Heartbreak, Insecurity, Knotting, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mating Bond, Men Crying, Minor Injuries, Mpreg, Multiple Orgasms, Nesting, Omega Verse, Omega Victor Nikiforov, On the Run, Past Abortion, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Reunions, Rough Sex, Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Scenting, Wall Sex, referenced non-consensual breeding, referenced non-consensual sex slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-01-17 22:26:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12375405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: It has been 10 weeks since Viktor left Yuuri behind and moved up north with Yakov and Yuri, yet he still can't seem to let go of the alpha. Can he be happy again when the memory of Yuuri is so closely present?





	1. Chapter 1

Yuuri was looking at him with love in his eyes. The alpha’s scent surrounded their bodies, and Yuuri took a hold of his hands, lifted them to his lips. The kiss on his knuckles was soft and warmed his heart.

Suddenly Yuuri’s hands slipped from his, and the alpha was far away, reaching out to him but the distance was growing. He tried to call out, but his voice didn’t work, and Yuuri gave up, let himself be carried away by the unknown force, and all that was left was cold darkness.

*

Viktor woke up.

It was still night-time. His surroundings were blurry, and he realised he was crying. He tried to blink away the tears, but they wouldn’t stop coming. He turned to lie on his side, pressing his body better into the nest to feel secure, searching for the calming scent of his alpha. A hand was placed on his shoulder blade, questioning and friendly, but it didn’t help Viktor to stop crying. He felt the warmth of another person behind him when an arm wrapped around him and a body pressed against his back, calm breaths tickling his nape as he pulled pillows closer to himself.

Viktor found Yuuri’s shirt and pressed his nose against its fading scent. Eventually it would be gone, and Viktor didn’t think he could deal with that. He would have to do something to help the pain that had been carving him hollow for weeks and weeks.

Yuri pulled him closer against himself, his quiet presence appreciated but not what Viktor needed. He needed to feel the comforting warmth of an alpha – and not just any alpha, _his_ alpha. He needed his Yuuri, and for the millionth time he wondered if it had all been worth this pain.

It was true that life with Yuuri wouldn’t have been easy. Viktor would have been a hindrance on the alpha’s path. Yuuri’s parents would have never approved of him, and he would have had to live with the glances that hinted disapproval, even though they did their best (Viktor assumed) to hide it. He would always be surrounded by servants and bodyguards and it would be too much at times, but at least he could be with his Yuuri.

No, Yuuri wasn’t his. No one could own a person. Even the claim mark on his neck would never make Yuuri his own.

Viktor’s fingers found the uneven scar and he rubbed it. He felt Yuri nuzzle closer as his scent filled the nest, strongly entangled with Yuuri’s scent. He wished that the mark was still fresh, that it would sting when he touched it just so he could feel something stronger than the emptiness inside him.

He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but Viktor eventually fell asleep again. His dreams were fast and colourless, and when he woke up in the morning, he couldn’t remember them.

Yuri had woken up earlier, and the nest felt empty without another person. Viktor was clenching Yuuri’s shirt with both hands, and he slowly let it go, pushed it aside. He could hear Yuri and Yakov talk, and he smiled. It was good that Yuri had learned to trust Yakov as much as Viktor trusted him. It was good that for once, after 15 years, he felt like he had a family again. And he knew that this family wouldn’t sell him away.

Viktor turned to lie on his back. Yuri laughed in the other room. It was a good sound. Viktor hoped that he would hear Yuri laugh every day. The younger omega had gotten more carefree during their time with Yakov, but still had days of gloom and terror. Viktor didn’t blame him; even he had occasional terrors, when his thoughts returned to the past and he wondered if he could ever breathe freely while knowing that someone like Eduard Volkov lived.

Unconsciously Viktor grabbed his left wrist where the scar was. Yakov had shortened his old collar to properly fit his wrist, and Viktor felt good when his fingers touched the worn-out leather. It was a reminder that he could build something good over the ruins of his past self.

Slowly Viktor sat up. It was sunny outside. It made him think of the south, of the harsh sunlight that had burnt his skin, and how that sunlight was still watching over Yuuri.

A wave of nausea hit Viktor, and he bent in half. He wished that it would go over, he wished that he wouldn’t have to run to the bathroom. He wished so hard that there were tears in his eyes when he finally had to get up and hurry.

As he washed the taste of vomit from his mouth, he thought about the way things might have been if he had chosen to stay in the south, had gotten more familiar with the Katsuki household, maybe eventually made friends with the prince himself. The only person apart from Yuuri, who had made him feel welcome, had been the prince.

Viktor was still deep in thought when he went to have breakfast. Yakov looked at him with a smile, just like he did every morning, but Yuri’s glance was worried.

“I’m fine,” Viktor mumbled and drank a glass of water.

*

The day started out as usual: Viktor went to the market with Yakov to buy food for the day while Yuri stayed home and practiced reading. Yakov had told the townspeople that Viktor and Yuri were his nephews, but Yuri still found it better to stay at home rather than show up in public with his collar and no claim mark. They lived modestly, and for some people it was hard to understand why Yakov wouldn’t sell his omega nephews for some extra money to spend on himself as he grew older. At first, Viktor had thought that his claim mark might bring trouble with it, but after the first time someone had asked him where his alpha was and he had burst to uncontrollable tears, people stopped asking – probably assuming that Viktor’s alpha had met a horrible end.

In spite of his terrible night, Viktor was on a good mood when he and Yakov made their way along the dirt path that led to the market. He was carrying a basket on his arm, a faint smile on his face as the sun seeped through the leaves onto his face. Yakov was quiet, but there was an aura of calm around him, making Viktor feel even better. Yakov always knew when to keep quiet or when Viktor needed someone to talk to him. Maybe Viktor needed to talk, but he wasn’t ready for it yet. He wanted to enjoy the way the sun sifted through the leaves in different patterns, how a gentle breeze blew his hair off his face. He felt peaceful despite the storm that was brewing inside.

They walked through the market place, buying what they needed. Yakov chatted with the people like he always did. Viktor wasn’t in the mood to talk, but he listened and smiled in a friendly manner. Yakov insisted on buying meat and wouldn’t change his mind although Viktor tried his best to stop him.

“You need it,” Yakov said, and that shut down all the arguments Viktor might have had.

They headed back home. Yakov was always on a good mood after visiting the market, and even though Viktor’s thoughts were quickly turning to the difficult things, Yakov’s serenity made him smile too. He wished that every day could be the same: he would carry Yakov’s groceries and smile at the way the weather enveloped them in a gentle embrace. The would walk home together and Yuri would always greet them with a smile.

Home.

For years, Viktor hadn’t had anywhere to call home. When he still lived with an alpha, he didn’t want to call anywhere home, until he met Yakov. Secretly he had always felt the most at home in Yakov’s small hut surrounded by books and knowledge. But because the time he got to spend there was limited, he never thought about it as home. It was a sanctuary, but not exactly a home.

Viktor was still deep in thought when they arrived back to the cottage, to their home. Yuri was growling at a book he was reading, and had a deep frown on his face when he looked up to greet Yakov and Viktor. It made Viktor smile. Of course Yuri wouldn’t greet them with a sweet smile. It was much more likely that they would always return home to a grumpy boy who looked like he wanted to toss the book into the fireplace.

“I’ll start preparing food,” Yakov said.

“I’ll help!” Yuri announced immediately and jumped up from the chair he had been perched on.

Viktor wanted to help too, but the kitchen was small, and Yakov needed all the attention on Yuri to teach the boy how to cook a good meal. Besides, they would only tell him not to worry about it and take it easy.

“It’s important for you to rest,” Yakov had already told him several times, and Viktor wasn’t keen on hearing it yet again.

So, Viktor took a book that he had been reading and went out to sit on the bench by their garden. The garden was still a work-in-progress, much of the land waiting to be turned, but they had started a small vegetable patch and – as per Viktor’s request – a flowerbed by the house walls. Viktor looked at the black soil that was moist and smelled like life, and tried to imagine how beautiful it would look once everything grew. If he would still be there to see it.

Immediately Viktor’s mood soured. He wished that it was possible to make your brain forget about bad things so they would never dampen the mood. He didn’t want to think again, not when everything was so difficult. He knew that he didn’t have much time left and had to make huge decisions, but it didn’t mean that he had to like thinking about it. He had already spent countless hours agonising over the different possibilities, and he just wanted a peaceful moment when he could pretend that life was easy and would always stay the same.

With a sigh, Viktor opened the book. Yakov had bought it just for him. It was the first time anyone had gifted Viktor something that he wanted out of kindness, and he had cried in gratitude when Yakov had held out the beautiful leather-covered book for him. He let his fingers slide over the cover, feeling each pressed letter individually. It was a difficult book to understand, but Yakov had ensured him that with a little help Viktor would eventually be able to read it without problems. So far Viktor had been reading it by himself, slowly making progress from one page to another. He didn’t want to take up too much of Yakov’s time, because Yuri needed much more help that Viktor did. Yuri had been younger when he was taken out of school, so his education was lacking more than Viktor’s. He had spent less time out of school, but he had quickly forgotten a lot of what he had learned, especially because he didn’t care for reading. Viktor smiled as he thought about what a surprise it had been to both him and Yakov when Yuri had announced that he wanted to learn to read properly again.

Viktor opened the book and hoped to make a bit more progress with it. It talked about trauma and ways of coping with it, and Viktor hoped that once he was finished, he would not only have a more profound understanding of himself and the difficulties in life, but also ways of making his life better from here on out.

His thoughts immediately returned to Yuuri, and he bit his lip in annoyance. Maybe he had hoped that Yuuri would be in his future, but he didn’t think it was possible or even advisable. His heart broke every time he thought about how Yuuri had cried when he left, but Yuuri didn’t understand it as clearly as he did. During their time apart, Yuuri must have already realised that it was impossible for them to be together.

But was it really impossible? Viktor had been so adamant about it, but as weeks passed by, he had started to doubt it. What if Yuuri’s parents would grow to understand their son with time, would accept Viktor as an equal partner for their son? No, that wouldn’t change the way the rest of the world would look at them. It wouldn’t change the fact that Yuuri might be shunned because of his non-traditional family.

With a deep sigh, Viktor turned his eyes on the pages that were open before him, looking at the letters that formed words, some of which were too complicated for him to fully comprehend. Yakov had taught him how to use the dictionary, a massive book with page after page of words and their meanings, but Viktor rarely wanted to keep the book at hand when reading. He wanted to understand on his own, he wanted to be able to read through a book without having to ask for help, even if he was only asking another book.

Today the words seemed harder than usual, and Viktor quickly got tired of trying. He felt like he had suddenly forgotten how to read altogether, the letters on the page appearing nonsensical to him rather than something with meaning. He closed the book and placed it on the bench beside himself. He looked up to the treetops. The sun was still shining warmly over him, and he felt good knowing that the same sun was looking over both him and Yuuri. Even while apart, they were connected by the warmth.

It made his heart ache, and he blinked tears away from his eyes. He had made his decision, and he should stick by it. He was happy here with Yakov and Yuri, the only family he ever needed, and it would be easier without the added stress of Yuuri’s heritage and nature. He didn’t need an alpha in his life.

Viktor tried to suppress the thought that told him that he did, in fact, need an alpha for his natural urges or the rest of his life would be extremely unpleasant, but at least for now it wasn’t an issue. For now, he had no reason to crave for an alpha by his side, yet he couldn’t forget how joyful Yuuri’s presence always made him, how his heart seemed to beat differently. He had never felt that before, and he was sad that he might never feel it again.

Thinking about Yuuri only caused Viktor pain, so he got up from the bench, took the book with him, and went inside to see how Yakov and Yuri were doing.

*

The day had been pleasant, and as night started to fall, Viktor felt peaceful. He was seated on a chair, watching how Yuri worked his way through a book. The young omega grunted and growled at the words, lying on his stomach on the floor by the cold fireplace, the book lying in front of him as he glared at it. Viktor had offered his help to Yuri, but the omega had merely scoffed at him before returning to his reading. Yakov was sitting at the other end of the room by his desk, working on leather. Viktor wasn’t sure what he was making, hadn’t felt the need to ask yet. Maybe he would ask the next day. Right now it was getting too late for him to care about anything.

Viktor thought that he should learn a craft that would keep him busy when he didn’t want to read, but so far, he hadn’t come up with anything that he might want to do. Yakov had promised that whatever he chose, he could do. Yakov had said that if he didn’t know how to teach Viktor, he would find someone who could. Viktor just didn’t know what options he had. His life had been dedicated to cooking and washing as well as pleasuring his alpha sexually, and he couldn’t even imagine all the different things that some people were able to do.

There was a commotion outside, which was uncommon. Their cabin was slightly separated from the rest of the town, and usually it was quiet. Viktor wondered what would get the town so excited at this time of the evening.

Then there was a knock on the door.

Both Viktor and Yuri immediately turned towards the entrance. Yakov put his tools down and made his way to the door. The entrance was hidden from sight from where Viktor and Yuri were, and they both listened carefully as Yakov opened the door.

“I’m begging you,” a voice said. “Please, let me see Viktor.”

Viktor immediately recognised the voice, even if it was slightly muffled. He scrambled up from his chair and headed to the entrance in a rush. Yuri grunted disapprovingly behind him, but made no effort to stop him.

Yakov was standing by the door, turned back to see Viktor arrive. Yuuri, on the other hand, was on the ground in Yakov’s feet, bowing deeply. Even though Viktor had already known that Yuuri wasn’t above getting humble when it was necessary, it was still surprising to see such level of respect from him. Behind him, an acceptable distance away from the house, a small crowd had gathered. Viktor had no doubt in his mind that by the morning everyone in town would know of the new arrival. Then he turned to look closer, and saw an unknown alpha with two horses standing aside. It must have been Yuuri’s new bodyguard. In a funny way Viktor missed Takeshi’s familiarity.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said, talking to the ground. “I’m sorry.”

Viktor wasn’t sure what to say. He looked at Yuuri, whose forehead was pressed to the ground.

“Please, can we talk?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor’s heart was beating heavy and fast. He wanted to pull Yuuri up and jump into his arms, he wanted to never let go again, wanted to pull Yuuri into the nest and make sure that the alpha would never leave. But things were different now.

“Yes,” he said, because even with all his reservations, he was still hoping that somehow, in some miraculous way, Yuuri could be a part of his life again.

Yuuri sat up on his knees and looked at Viktor. His eyes looked deeper in the dusk. His hair had grown uncontrollably. He had specks of dirt on his forehead and the tip of his nose. Viktor couldn’t help smiling, blinking away the tears that had appeared.

“I know it’s late already,” Yuuri said. “We can talk tomorrow, if that’s better.”

Viktor bit his lip in thought. He didn’t want to let Yuuri go now that they were together, but he knew that it might be better to talk when he hadn’t just been feeling so drowsy. Besides, he didn’t know what he would say. He hadn’t thought that Yuuri would come looking for him, had imagined that if he ever wanted to reconnect, he would have to travel back south. He hadn’t prepared to explain anything.

“Why don’t you and your guard stay here for the night,” Yakov said, as if reading Viktor’s mind. “Tomorrow morning you and Viktor can talk.”

Yuuri’s eyes lit up with hope and he turned to look at Viktor.

“Is that fine?” he asked.

Viktor nodded, unable to speak. Yakov turned to look at the guard and the horses.

“I don’t have stables on my grounds, but my neighbour will accommodate the horses,” he said.

The guard turned to look at Yuuri for instructions, his face exposing no feeling. Yuuri nodded.

“Take the horses, Otabek,” he said. “I’m safe here.”

The guard nodded. Yakov looked at Viktor, and Viktor nodded. Yakov put on his shoes and headed out to guide the guard to the neighbour. The small crowd remained on its place, and Viktor turned down to look at Yuuri again.

“You should come in,” Viktor said.

He was overcome with shyness unlike any he had felt before. Yuuri got up from the ground, pat his knees clean, and stepped inside. Viktor closed the door, leaving behind the chattering crowd. Yuuri took off his sandals.

Suddenly Viktor realised how close they were standing. Yuuri was right there, just a breath away, and Viktor was overcome with want to reach out and pull Yuuri against him. Instead he turned around and headed back to the living room, Yuuri following close behind.

Yuri had sat up, the book forgotten before him. The revulsion on his face was so severe it was nearly comical, and he hissed when Yuuri entered the room.

“It’s good to see you,” Yuuri said.

Viktor wasn’t sure if Yuuri was ignoring Yuri’s hatred as a defence mechanism or out of misunderstanding, but either way it made Yuri even angrier.

“How dare you just walk in here,” Yuri spat.

“Yura,” Viktor said placatingly.

Yuri hissed once more but then snapped his mouth shut, got up, and stomped away to the bedroom where their nest was.

“I know I’m not his favourite person,” Yuuri said.

Viktor turned to look at him. In the gentle light of the room, Yuuri looked even more captivating than usual. Viktor was drawn to him both physically and mentally, and he wanted nothing more than to throw away all the trouble and embrace his alpha.

“You have some dirt on your face,” he said instead, gently wiping the earth off Yuuri’s forehead and nose.

Yuuri blushed. Viktor’s eyes stopped on his lips, remembering how good it always felt to kiss them. He wanted Yuuri to kiss him, he wanted it so bad that he thought his chest might rip open.

It may not have been the smartest thing to do, but Viktor leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Yuuri was warm, his hands immediately rising to Viktor’s waist, the hot palms rooting Viktor in the way he had so sorely missed. He had missed the way he had to bend his head down for Yuuri to reach his mouth, how the alpha still felt in control in the way their lips brushed together, how their bodies pressed closer and Yuuri’s scent was surrounding them.

Viktor wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but he found himself looking at Yuuri’s lips through half-lidded eyes, how wet they were, how red. Yuuri was still holding him close, and Viktor didn’t want to pull away, but he did.

“Let’s go outside,” he said.

He took a hold of Yuuri’s hand and guided the alpha out through the back door and into the garden. They sat down on the bench where Viktor had often sat alone thinking about Yuuri and the life he had left behind, how he had missed the alpha by his side and wished that one day he could show Yuuri the beautiful view right into the woods.

“This place is so peaceful,” Yuuri said, clutching Viktor’s hand.

Viktor nodded in response, watching the trees that were obscured by the falling darkness. The wind had died down, and what was left was the quiet warmth of a summer night.

“I’ve missed you,” Yuuri said.

Viktor’s eyes filled with tears, and he bit his lip. He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t even turn to look at the alpha beside him. He had wanted to hear those words, he had wanted it so badly, but it wasn’t easy. Nothing in life was easy, and Viktor hated it.

“I don’t think I can survive without you, Viktor,” Yuuri said quietly, almost in a whisper. “If you don’t want me, then that’s… I can only hope that you won’t send me away.”

Yuuri squeezed Viktor’s hand, as if to calm his nerves, to prove that Viktor was there and holding his hand in return. That maybe Viktor wanted him just as much as he wanted Viktor.

Viktor was still holding back tears, so he didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to, he was sure. For now, it was enough that they were together and he was holding Yuuri’s hand.

“I want to understand you, Viktor,” Yuuri said, still talking quietly. “I want to learn to know why you make your decisions. Will you tell me?”

Viktor nodded. If he wanted to get rid of the horrible pain he had been suffering, he would have to be honest. He squeezed Yuuri’s hand harder, partly trying to stop his tears from flowing, partly to feel that the alpha was there and that his scent wasn’t just a painful memory. Yuuri responded by taking a hold of his hand with his free hand as well.

“Why are you crying?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor sniffled, bit his lip harder to stop it from trembling, but finally, as if Yuuri’s question had been a permission, a tear dropped down on his cheek, slid to his jaw and dropped onto their hands. He sniffled again, still trying his hardest to stop it from happening, but the first tear had opened the gates to the rest, and his cheeks were soon wet with tears as he cried silently.

With one hand Yuuri let go of Viktor’s hand before pulling the omega against him. Viktor rested his head on Yuuri’s shoulder, body shaking with his quiet sobs, and Yuuri stroked his hair, his back, the soothing touch not enough to stop his crying. Viktor didn’t know how long it took, how long they sat there as he cried, but he eventually started to calm down.

Viktor felt a soft kiss in his hair, and Yuuri murmured calming words to him. The feeling of peace that bloomed inside him convinced him that he would have to figure out a way to stay with Yuuri. He needed it just as much as he needed Yakov and Yuri.

“I missed you,” Viktor sniffled. “It hurts so much.”

He hiccupped, and Yuuri let go of his hand to hug him properly, body warm and safe around him. Viktor clang onto his shirt, face against the alpha’s scent gland, and he breathed in the scent he had so sorely missed.

“I love you, Viktor,” Yuuri whispered.

“Scent me,” Viktor responded, raising his head to look at Yuuri with his tear-stained face.

Yuuri smiled before leaning in, pressing their necks together, and immediately their scents filled the air. Viktor gasped for breath, having already forgotten how good it felt, how completely natural and utterly perfect it felt to have Yuuri’s scent surge all over him and his own scent follow. It was better than it had ever been before, and Viktor felt like he would melt while simultaneously every nerve on his body was on fire. He pressed as close as he could get, body moulding against Yuuri, and he felt energy all the way in the tips of his toes. His hips rolled against Yuuri, the pleasure of being scented not having left his cock untouched, and he whimpered almost pitifully.

Yuuri pulled back and watched Viktor. The alpha’s pupils were dilated and his face was red. Viktor was certain that his own face mirrored that. Yuuri stroked his way down to Viktor’s hips and squeezed slightly.

“I want you,” Viktor whispered.

“You can always have me,” Yuuri responded, nuzzling their noses together. “But not here.”

Viktor wanted to argue, although he did understand that they had nowhere to take their affections to be hidden from view. He also reminded himself that things weren’t as simple as this, they couldn’t just be fixed with a scenting and a fuck. They would have to talk, and the more Viktor let himself be swept away with his desires, the harder it got to even think about talking.

That is why he nodded and pulled away. He didn’t miss the whine deep in Yuuri’s throat, but the alpha didn’t move from his spot. They sat apart, but Viktor could still feel how hot Yuuri’s body was, the heat radiating from the alpha. He squeezed the edge of the bench and tried to calm his heart that was beating erratically.

“Are you happy here?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor took a deep breath before turning to look at the alpha.

“Yes,” he said.

Yuuri nodded. He was looking into the distance, eyes measuring the trees that surrounded the garden. His face was still red.

“But I missed you too much,” Viktor added.

Yuuri turned to look at him. Viktor didn’t want to see the look on his face.

“Then why did you leave?” Yuuri asked, voice quiet.

Viktor shook his head. He had hoped that Yuuri would have figured it out, but it seemed that he would have to spell out everything for the alpha. Maybe it was good, it might help him put things in perspective, but it was irritating nonetheless.

Yuuri didn’t press for an answer, and they sat in silence, watching the trees. The air stood still, and Viktor wished that a breeze would blow away the thick scent that surrounded them. He didn’t want to know what Yuuri was feeling so well. He wanted things to be less clear in this moment so it would be easier to talk. He wouldn’t have to be so self-conscious about possibly hurting the alpha.

“I need to tell you something,” Viktor said.

Maybe this was the perfect time to come out and say it. The longer he waited, the harder it would all become, so he might as well get it over with. Viktor turned to look at Yuuri, whose eyes were watching him.

“You two!” Yuri yelled and slammed the door open.

Viktor jumped, as if he had been doing something forbidden. Yuuri calmly turned to look.

“Yakov is back,” Yuri said. “And if you think that he’s going to sleep on the floor just so someone like _you_ can sleep on the sofa, you’re wrong.”

Yuri was pointing at Yuuri, eyes full of anger.

“Of course,” Yuuri said, completely unfazed, which seemed to annoy Yuri even further. “I wouldn’t imagine taking his bed.”

Yuri’s eyes were slits as he looked at the alpha. Then he sniffed in contempt and turned away after having glanced at Viktor to make sure everything was fine.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said after Yuri had slammed the door shut behind him. “He’s just worried about me.”

“I understand it,” Yuuri said. “I’m not going to hold it against him.”

Viktor smiled. He had needed this, had needed to remember how kind and thoughtful Yuuri was. He might be the perfect alpha for Viktor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this is one of my midnight mistakes posting this chapter now. Because. I'm currently writing chapter 3, but I've been really slow and unfocused and I have no idea when I will 1) get more writing done and 2) edit the next chapter for posting.
> 
> Anyway. I have no idea when I'll update or how long this story will be. I will not be working on this fic during NaNoWriMo next month, so I guess it's safe to say that the earliest you might expect an update is December.


	2. Chapter 2

Yuuri remembered the day clearly. He had been woken up by a knock on the door, and Emil had poked his head in without waiting for his permission.

“The guard just saw Viktor leave,” the beta had said.

Yuuri was about to wave it off, when he realised how early it was.

“He says that Viktor seemed odd,” Emil added. “He thinks Viktor’s gone for good.”

Yuuri was up in a flash. It remained a mystery to him how he was able to get dressed so quickly, but he was soon running along the hallway and to the stairwell, Emil by his side.

“He sent another guard to follow him,” Emil said, “just in case you want to know where he’s going.”

Yuuri hurried his steps. The guard shouted directions to him, and he was off, Emil left behind. Yuuri ran as far as he could before realising that he had no idea where to head next. He stopped to think. There must have been a certain place Viktor would go, but the omega had never been forthcoming with his whereabouts during his time on the streets. Yuuri was in a panic, he realised it from the way his throat was constricting and eyes blurring. He had to figure out where Viktor was, he had to.

“Katsuki-sama!” he heard someone call, and turned to see a guard headed his way.

Yuuri didn’t have to wait, he was running to meet the guard, who turned around and ran by his side, telling him where Viktor had gone.

“They had a cart ready to go,” the guard said. “No horses yet.”

Yuuri nodded. He couldn’t waste his breath on talking. He had to persevere, he had to make it there in time. He had to see Viktor.

Yuuri was the son of a rich family, which meant that sometimes he slacked off with his physical training. He had never thought it would be really necessary for him to know different sparring tactics or be good at running long distances. His lungs were burning and breath hitching, and he wished that he had worked more on his running, that he would have made sure that nothing could put him in this position. His legs were burning, the muscles complaining under the strain, but he couldn’t slow down. He nearly tumbled down a few times, toes hitting the rock in awkward and painful ways, but he had to keep going. He wouldn’t stop even if he fell onto the ground face first. He didn’t care about anything but getting to Viktor in time.

When he finally saw the guesthouse in the distance, he immediately spotted the cart in front. The horse had been harnessed and Viktor was watching the cart, probably figuring out where he would be seated. Yuuri tried to run harder, but he was running out of energy. He was burning everywhere, face sweating and sandals slapping.

“Viktor,” he tried to yell, but his throat was dry and sore.

Yuuri squeezed his hands into fists and swallowed with great difficulty.

“Viktor!” he managed to shout.

The omega stopped and turned to look at him. Yuuri was too busy to try to read the look on his face. He still had a bit more to go, and he would make it to Viktor, even if his body felt like it was unravelling.

After what felt like forever, Yuuri came to a stop beside the omega. He bent down, leaned on his knees, and wheezed, air both soothing and burning his throat and lungs. He wanted to collapse onto the ground and just lie there for a day or two.

“Where are you going?” he had asked.

“I’m leaving with Yakov and Yuri,” Viktor had said.

The memory became so painful that Yuuri wanted to stop thinking about it. He had tears in his eyes, and he remembered glancing at the older man standing behind Viktor. Yakov looked nothing like he had imagined, and he wondered if he should have asked Emil to dig out something about the man, dirt that he could use to make Viktor stay.

Yuuri shook his head. He was horrible for even thinking that. Viktor clearly trusted the man a lot – not to mention betas were usually much more reliable than alphas or omegas. They weren’t so strictly bound to their hormones, they could focus on reason.

No matter how hard he tried, every time Yuuri remembered the way Viktor looked at him for the last time, he burst to tears.

“I have to go,” Viktor had said, eyes so filled with love and regret that Yuuri was almost certain that Viktor had been forced to leave. But the way Viktor turned around and climbed into the cart, the fluidity of his movements, had been completely natural.

Viktor left on his own free will.

Yuuri was a sobbing mess, his pillow so wet it was getting disgusting, but he was too sad to turn it around. The other side might have been wet too, he couldn’t remember.

Yuuri couldn’t remember other things either. He had no idea how much time had passed. He didn’t know how many people had visited him and tried to talk him out of his bed. He could recall some of their words, usually the ones he didn’t want to remember.

“Clearly he understood that this was not his place.”

“You still have your beautiful bride.”

“We’re thinking of having the wedding in winter.”

“Your fiancées parents will be coming next month.”

“I’m so happy for you, Yuuri. Finding Mila was a sign from the gods themselves.”

Yuuri wasn’t even sure who had said what. He had merely lied in bed, face pressed in his pillow, breathing with difficulty until the person in his room was gone.

He often found himself staring at his closet. He thought about the nights he had spent in Viktor’s nest, how happy he had been to wake up next to the omega. He had felt like his life finally had a purpose. Finally, he had found the partner he had always been missing but hadn’t realised. The warmth of Viktor was lodged inside his heart, and he would never be able to forget, no matter how painful it was to remember.

One night he got up. His legs were weak, and he stumbled to the door. The hallway was quiet and dark, and Yuuri made his way to the next door, pulled it open in the night.

As he stood by the closet, he hesitated. He was terrified of what he would find. He was scared that they had cleaned Viktor’s nest away. They would have. They wanted to erase every memory of the omega, wanted to pretend that Viktor had never been there, that it had all been a dream – or a nightmare to them. They were all against him.

Yuuri opened the closet door, and sank onto his knees, crying, when he saw the nest intact. He crawled in, pulling the door completely closed behind himself.

The nest still smelled like Viktor. It was painful to be surrounded by the omega’s scent so completely, but Yuuri hadn’t felt this good in days. Or weeks. He didn’t know. He was hungry, but he only wanted to curl up and never leave, if this was the only way he could stay close to Viktor.

He remembered being woken up and fed. He remembered being bathed by two pairs of strong hands. Then he curled back in the nest and cried, because his heart had never been broken before and he didn’t think he could live through it.

It was a bit of a mystery how he ended up in his own bed again. He was sure that he had fallen asleep in Viktor’s nest, but when he woke up, he was lying on his back in his bed, clean linen surrounding his aching body. He got up, ignored the calls of his name in the hallway, and stormed into Viktor’s room. He pulled the closet door open.

His tears were bitter, they were sour and they burnt his very soul. Viktor’s nest was gone.

Viktor was gone, and they were happy about it. They needed Yuuri to stay weak so he wouldn’t talk back and try to stop the wedding. They needed Yuuri to stay manageable, and keeping him sad worked very well.

“Yuuri,” Michele said softly from the doorway.

Yuuri was kneeling on the floor, arms leaning to the floor of the closet, and he cried harder than he had for days. He heard the beta approach.

“I’m sorry,” Michele said, not much more than a whisper. “I tried to stop them.”

There was a soft touch on Yuuri’s back.

Yuuri lifted his upper body up and looked at the beta, whose face was twisted in sorrow.

“Michele,” Yuuri said and sniffled. “Go get Emil. Tell him to meet me in the library.”

The beta smiled, nodded, and left. Yuuri wiped his face. He slammed the closet shut.

*

Yuuri sent Emil off, knowing that it might take months or even years before the beta would find Viktor. They had agreed that it would make sense to start the search close to the border of the northern region and then expand up north, but the area was still huge. Yuuri couldn’t send others out because he needed both Michele and Otabek by his side, and he didn’t trust the other employees.

Even the knowledge that Emil was actively searching wasn’t enough to soothe the aching of Yuuri’s heart, and he soon found himself back in bed. He wasn’t crying continuously, but he was still hiding his face in the pillow whenever someone came to see him.

“How long has it been since Viktor left?” Yuuri asked.

“It’s been nine days,” Michele said.

Yuuri howled in pain. He couldn’t believe it hadn’t even been two weeks and he already felt like he couldn’t take any more. He wanted to cry, but his tears had dried up.

“Your sister is arriving tomorrow,” Michele said.

That made Yuuri lift his head up and look at the beta.

“Really?” he asked.

Michele smiled and nodded. He was sitting on the edge of Yuuri’s bed, and Yuuri sat up to face him properly.

“Maybe she’ll get through to mum and dad,” Yuuri said hopefully.

“Perhaps,” Michele said softly. “Your parents do value her opinions.”

Yuuri nodded. Knowing that Mari would soon be by his side made him feel better, like he wasn’t alone in this. Mari could tell him what to do, would help convince his parents, and life would be immediately better.

*

It had been several days since Yuuri’s sister had arrived – Yuuri wasn’t sure how many, since he had soon found himself back in bed. He had pulled the blanket over his head, cheek pressed against the pillow, eyes open and staring at the light shifting through the white fabric. He had been so disappointed that he had retreated to his room to cry on the very first night of Mari’s visit.

He should have known to expect something like that, he now thought. He should have known that his parents would have already talked to Mari about their plans of marrying him to this girl, that girl. Mari had been excited to meet Mila, and they had gotten along so well they had spent the day chatting together. Yuuri had hoped that he could get a hold of his sister before she was pulled too deep into their parents’ fantasy of his wedding, but it seemed that his parents – as well as Mila, although unwittingly – had made sure to keep him separated from Mari until she was completely on board with the marriage.

After several agonising hours of waiting for Mari to notice him, Yuuri had given up. His tears had been extra bitter, and he missed Viktor even more than he had before. He wished that he had taken something from the nest and hidden it in his room so that he could cuddle up to Viktor’s scent, but everything was gone.

He was still crying when Mari knocked on the door and came in without waiting for an answer. He had turned his head into the pillow to drown out any wails or sniffles, had heard Mari talk about something, but he couldn’t focus, couldn’t properly hear her over the loud hum of his own blood running through his veins, as if mocking him for being still alive after such a cruel fate. Mari sat down on the bed, and Yuuri smelled smoke as she lit her pipe, sighing and saying something, but he didn’t want to listen.

Yuuri was gasping for breath against his pillow, when Mari finally pulled the blanket off him. He felt exposed, the cool air of the room hitting his sweaty nape, and he wanted to reach out to pull the blanket back, but instead stayed still.

“What’s wrong with you, Yuuri?” Mari had asked.

Yuuri didn’t say anything. He didn’t know how to put it into words, the pain and betrayal, the feeling of being persecuted by his own family. So, he cried as quietly as he could, let Mari’s words and questions fly over his head until she sighed in defeat and left, leaving behind the smell of tobacco.

Mari had returned every day, trying to talk to him, but he refused. After the first two or three days, she had stopped pulling the blanket off him. She didn’t talk as much, mostly waited for him to say something, explain his behaviour, but he couldn’t.

She had left, once again, and Yuuri was prepared to spend the rest of the day alone, when there was a hasty knock on the door and it opened. He couldn’t tell who it was, Mari’s tobacco scent still dominating the room. The window was opened to let fresh air in.

“Yuuri,” Michele said. “Emil is back.”

Yuuri was up in such haste that he stumbled over his own feet, falling onto his stomach. Michele pulled him up, and Yuuri immediately headed to the library.

Emil was waiting there, surrounded by the books that Viktor had looked at in awe, that Viktor had loved. Yuuri had kept the books from Viktor’s room in his own room, sometimes leafing the pages to feel like he still had a connection with the omega. Now he wondered if Emil was his connection. He couldn’t take bad news.

“I found him,” Emil said immediately when the door slammed shut behind Yuuri.

Without words, Yuuri hurried to the beta and grabbed a hold of his shoulders, staring intently at his face.

“He lives on the northern side, quite close to the border,” Emil said. “He lives with a man called Yakov Feltsman, a beta. No record of him in that town previously, so he must have just moved there.”

“Is he safe?” Yuuri asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Yes,” Emil said. “He seems healthier too. He’s safe, Yuuri.”

Still squeezing Emil’s shoulders, Yuuri burst to tears of relief. As much as he had been hurt by being left by Viktor, he had also worried for the omega’s safety. He had wanted to make sure that his previous owner would never be able to lay a hand of him again, and with Viktor far away it had become impossible. He hadn’t even realised how much it had worried him, until this moment.

“What do you want to do with this information?” Emil asked.

Yuuri raised his head to look at him. The beta looked tired. He must have ridden as fast as the horse could take to get back soon. He would need rest.

“I will leave the day after tomorrow,” Yuuri said. “Before that, I need you and Michele to take everything I need to the guesthouse. I can’t be seen leaving on a long trip.”

Emil nodded.

“I’ll leave like it’s for a small, refreshing trip to the neighbouring town,” Yuuri said.

“What do you want to do when you get there?” Emil asked.

“I…” Yuuri started, but then didn’t know how to continue. “I’ll see when I get there.”

“What about me and Michele?” Emil asked.

“You’ll follow me two days later,” Yuuri said. “Make sure no one follows.”

Emil nodded in understanding. Yuuri finally let go of his shoulders.

“I can’t return home,” he said quietly. “I might as well see about starting a new life up north, regardless of Viktor’s decision. I can go anywhere.”

Emil raised his hand and pat Yuuri on the shoulder.

“I will support any decision you make,” he said.

“Even if my parents cut me off and I can’t afford to pay you?” Yuuri asked.

“Even then,” Emil said, and there wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Yuuri instructed the beta to talk to Michele about the plan and make sure to rest. Then he returned to his own room, in bed. He would have to pretend to be down. He couldn’t let anyone know that he now had hope blossoming in his chest.

He found Michele waiting in his room.

“You should talk to Emil,” Yuuri said and the beta immediately headed to the door. “Oh, and invite Phichit over.”

“Which is more urgent?” Michele asked by the door.

Yuuri didn’t even have to think his answer.

“Emil,” he said.

With that Michele left, and once again Yuuri was alone.

*

It wasn’t too hard to pretend to be down; Yuuri would simply lie in bed and think, try to plan everything as clearly as he could without any knowledge of how Viktor would react to seeing him. Would the omega be happy? Or sad? Too conflicted by everything that had happened between them to react properly? Maybe he would be angry that Yuuri had tracked him down and decided to follow, even though he had left.

Yuuri was lying still under his blanket when Mari walked in after a hasty knock. She immediately sat down on the edge of the bed and lit a cigarette.

“Yuuri,” she said, her voice unusually fragile. “Won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Yuuri bit his lip. He loved his sister and wanted to tell her everything, but she had already taken their parents’ side. She would simply tell him to forget all about his foolish love and focus on more important things like image and wealth and connections. She wouldn’t understand.

But she was also his sister, and he loved her.

“I’ve been asking every day,” Mari continued talking, “but they won’t say anything clear. They said you’re going through some youthful fancy that will blow over if we let you be, but I find it hard to believe that you’d still fall for something like that at your age. I may have been gone a lot, but I also know you, and you’re way too stable for something like that. You always know what you’re doing.”

Yuuri found himself biting his lip so hard that he could taste copper. Then, slowly, he sat up, the blanket dropping down to his lap as he turned to look at his sister.

“You look awful,” Mari said. “When was the last time you bathed?”

Yuuri shrugged, because he didn’t actually know the answer. He would have to take a bath before leaving.

“Are you finally ready to talk to me?” Mari asked.

“Yes,” Yuuri said.

“So?” Mari asked and lit her pipe. “What’s happening?”

Yuuri sighed.

“I’m in love,” he said.

“That’s good,” Mari said.

“Not with Mila Babicheva,” Yuuri said.

“That’s not good,” Mari said and frowned. “Who?”

“An omega,” Yuuri said. “I… I love Viktor.”

Mari remained quiet, smoke billowing around her head as she held her pipe up high, as if having forgotten it was still there.

“I’m not going to marry her,” Yuuri said.

Mari hummed in response, fingers twitching.

“That’s not what they said,” she said.

“I know,” Yuuri said. “But it’s their own fault for not listening to me. Mila already knows.”

“Oh?” Mari asked, suddenly remembering her pipe, and as she spoke, smoke surrounded her face. “She didn’t mention it.”

“I don’t blame her for being uncertain,” Yuuri said. “But I’m certain.”

“Huh,” was Mari’s response.

Yuuri was waiting for her to tell him to stop being an idiot and marry the young pretty girl. Instead she continued smoking slowly, watching his face through the swirls of smoke.

“Where’s the omega?” she asked. “Viktor is his name?”

Yuuri’s lips trembled and he had tears in his eyes.

“He’s gone,” he said. “He left.”

“Why?” Mari asked.

Yuuri wiped his eyes before the tears could run.

“He can’t see himself living here with me,” Yuuri said. “His background is too different.”

“But you think that he’s the one?” Mari asked for confirmation, and Yuuri nodded.

“I’d do anything to make him happy,” he said quietly.

“And you’ve talked to them?” Mari asked, putting out her pipe.

Yuuri nodded again.

“You already know what they say,” he said. “I don’t care.”

Mari looked at him seriously for a moment.

“Good for you,” she said. “Will you now come down and have dinner with us?”

“No,” Yuuri said, pain evident in his voice. “I’m not talking to them again.”

Mari raised her brow in question. Yuuri had to swallow a few times before he could trust himself to be able to talk again.

“They cleared away his nest,” he said quietly.

Mari nodded, although Yuuri couldn’t be sure if she really understood how deeply that had hurt him. Even thinking about it now made his chest constrict and eyes sting.

“At least you should take a bath,” Mari said.

Yuuri nodded.

“I’ll do that,” he said and heard how strained his voice sounded.

With some encouraging words and a smile Mari left him again. He didn’t move, just sat in his bed.

A sudden knock on the door made him jump, and he turned to look at the opening door in horror, thinking that his parents had gotten enough of his hijinks and were going to force him out of bed. He was immediately relieved to see Phichit’s head peek in.

“You summoned me,” Phichit said and stepped inside.

Yuuri sighed and leaned back on the bed, then falling on his back when he didn’t meet any support. He sat up again, looking at Phichit’s smiling eyes. The prince had now properly entered the room and closed the door behind, approaching the bed and finally sitting down next to Yuuri.

“When I heard that Viktor left, I knew you were taking it hard,” Phichit said, “but I never imagined you’d be this much of a mess.”

Yuuri blinked, wondering how untidy he must have looked for Phichit to comment on it like that.

“I should have come over sooner,” Phichit said with an apologising tone in his voice. “I just thought that it would be better to give you space. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Yuuri said. “I wouldn’t have been much company.”

“I know,” Phichit said. “When I visited on the day, you wouldn’t even come out from under your blanket.”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri mumbled.

Phichit smiled brightly.

“Never mind that now!” the prince said. “You asked me to come, so this must mean something has changed.”

“Yes,” Yuuri stated simply.

He could feel how swollen his eyes still were in spite of him not having cried in a while.

“I’m going to leave,” he said quietly.

Phichit’s face fell.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” the prince said.

Yuuri looked at his friend’s shocked face, the wide eyes that were always encouraging him to be himself and live his life like he wanted.

“I’m going to Viktor,” he said.

Slowly, understanding dawned on Phichit’s face, softening the hard line between his eyebrows, and soon the prince was his smiling self.

“I’m glad,” he said. “Do you have it all planned?”

“Yes,” Yuuri said. “I can’t tell you where I’m going or when I’m leaving.”

“I understand,” Phichit said. “But you’ll also understand that no matter where you go, I will know where you are.”

Yuuri burst to quiet laughter. It felt foreign to him, his emotional life having been filled with only sorrow and disappointment for so long.

“I’m going to miss you every day,” he said.

“I hope everything works out for the best,” Phichit said. “I don’t want you returning all heartbroken.”

“I don’t know if I’ll return,” Yuuri said. “No matter what.”

Phichit nodded in understanding.

“I’ll support your decision, whatever it ends up being,” he said.

“Thank you,” was all Yuuri had to say to that.

*

It was the day before Yuuri was to leave to find Viktor. He was clean and listened to Mari talking about her life with her husband, but still stayed in bed. He had decided to stay away from his parents after having had to listen to their hateful words for so long.

“Mari,” he said, when she lit her pipe again. “I would do anything for Viktor.”

She looked at him with her thoughtful eyes, the tobacco in her pipe glowing as she breathed in.

“You really want to live with him,” she said quietly.

Yuuri nodded.

“You must do what you think is right,” Mari said.

Yuuri smiled at her with genuine gratitude. She continued talking about having children with her husband soon, and when her tobacco burnt out, she left.

*

When Yuuri and Otabek left the guesthouse with all the necessary stuff, he felt a sudden surge of affection to Michele and Emil who had done such a good job in ensuring that he wouldn’t be lacking anything on his way up north. He was lucky to have such good servants who were also his friends.

Otabek was also someone Yuuri had known for years, although not as closely as the others. Otabek had been living on the streets when he was still a kid, had not even represented as an alpha yet, until one day he had been caught by the security guards trying to sneak in to the Katsuki estate. Yuuri’s parents had found that it was better to take him in and train him to become a servant or a bodyguard rather than send him away to an orphanage. He had grown up to be a respectful alpha who had taken care of Takeshi’s duties when Takeshi himself was unavailable.

Yuuri liked Otabek. The alpha was short and quiet, but had a strong aura that kept trouble away. Otabek was always trustworthy, always punctual, although not very eloquent with his words, and sometimes people thought him to be rude when he was just being himself.

However, it didn’t matter how trustworthy Otabek was, Yuuri had been too scared to share his plans with the alpha. He had been worried that the wrong person might overhear his words and alert his parents, so he had merely told his bodyguard that they were going out for a ride. Otabek hadn’t said a word when they had stopped at the guesthouse, hadn’t protested in any way when Yuuri got all their travel supplies from the owner, and had even politely nodded his head when Yuuri paid the man for his troubles. They took off in silence, the sounds of their horses the only thing keeping them company.

It wasn’t until they had ridden past two towns that Yuuri slowed down and turned to his companion.

“I’m sorry for not telling you earlier,” he said. “We have a long way ahead of us.”

Otabek nodded.

“I don’t know what will happen when we get there,” Yuuri said. “I’ll need you by my side until things clear up more.”

“Certainly,” Otabek said, and that was all Yuuri needed to know that he had the alpha’s full support.

Although Yuuri liked Otabek being quiet, as the day drew on, he was starting to wish that the alpha was just a bit more talkative. All the silence gave him too much time to think, too much time to start doubting his conviction of finding Viktor again.

Viktor had left. Viktor had left him behind, had planned on doing so without a word of warning. Yuuri could have easily slept peacefully until he would have noticed the omega gone in the morning. What if it meant that Viktor simply didn’t want him anymore?

No, he shouldn’t go down that road again. He had heard what Viktor said, and he knew how uncomfortable the omega had felt in the house. If Yuuri wanted to keep his spirits up, he would have to trust his understanding of Viktor leaving because it was uncomfortable living in the house with Yuuri’s parents.

Yuuri rolled his eyes when he thought about his parents. He couldn’t believe how they had been supportive of his choices only up until they disagreed with what he wanted.

*

The night was quickly falling at the end of day four of their ride, and Yuuri was starting to think that they would have to set up camp for yet another night, when they started seeing houses in the distance. They were quickly approaching a town, and according to Yuuri’s calculations this should be the right place. He and Otabek continued riding to a market place, where people were still out and about, their conversations quickly dying when they saw the two horsemen approaching.

“Excuse me,” Yuuri asked a couple of men who were openly staring at them. “Does Yakov Feltsman live here?”

The men nodded.

“I’ll show you the way,” one said.

Yuuri thanked him and they headed off. Yuuri kept his head held high and hoped that his anxiety did not show on the outside. His stomach was in knots and his head was humming loudly. He swallowed, thanking heavens that their horses were such an impressive sight that people didn’t focus all attention on him.

The town was clean and pleasant, and Yuuri was glad to think that it was Viktor’s home. It seemed like a good place to live. They headed quite a distance away from the market, away from the last houses and towards a thick forest. There, right at the edge of the trees was a small cottage, light shining from the windows.

Yuuri tried his hardest to ignore the fact that there was a crowd that had followed him and Otabek as he got down from his horse, worried that his knees might give in with how shaky they were. His nerves were on edge, and he wished that he was alone so he could take a moment to collect his courage before approaching the friendly looking door.

Yuuri glanced at Otabek for support, but the alpha’s face was as blank as it always was. He turned around, took a deep breath, and knocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the first chapter I've had surprisingly much going on. NaNoWriMo, surgery on my septum, sudden exhaustion to writing, depression, new meds, new doctor, new treatment that didn't actually work, study worries, money worries, original work takin first priority, and cross stitching taking up all my time but also keeping me afloat throughout the times that were hard.
> 
> Thank you all for your patience, and I hope that I will get back to regular writing after I'm done with uni work. However, I also need to start writing a novel, so I will prioritise that. Anyway, I technically have the next chapter already written, but I would feel better about posting it if the fourth chapter was at least partly written. I don't know and I feel like I'm not even making much sense so yeah.


	3. Chapter 3

Viktor woke up slowly. He hadn’t slept as peacefully in a long time, hadn’t been so happy to wake up in weeks. He was alone in the nest, just like usual, no signs of nausea bothering him. Absentmindedly he stroked his tummy before rolling over and sitting up. He heard chatter from the living room, and was just about to get up, when Yuri slammed the door open, stepped inside, and slammed the door shut again.

“Good morning,” Viktor said and smiled at Yuri’s sour face.

“You can’t be seriously considering it,” Yuri said and stomped over to the nest before dropping down.

“What am I considering?” Viktor asked innocently.

Yuri glared at him.

“You’re going to go back with him,” Yuri said bitterly.

Viktor sighed, letting his shoulders droop a bit.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want to live without him either.”

“You don’t need an alpha,” Yuri said with true conviction, and Viktor couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him.

“I do,” he said. “Up until last night I may have thought that I’m fine without him, but now that he’s here… Now I know for sure that I need him.”

Yuri sniffed and lay down.

“I’m in love, Yura,” Viktor said softly. “I don’t expect you to understand it, but I do hope that you’ll accept it.”

Yuri didn’t say anything.

“You must understand my situation, even if you’re so young,” Viktor added.

“You don’t need him,” Yuri said, voice slightly muffled by all the pillows he was resting his head on.

Viktor turned to look at the young omega.

“I want him,” he said.

Yuri scowled and turned his head into the pillows.

“I don’t know how,” Viktor said, “but I will not leave you or him.”

Yuri was quiet, but Viktor caught a quiet hiss when he stood up.

“I need breakfast,” he said and made his way to the door.

Viktor stopped and turned to look at the young boy who was lying on his stomach in the nest. He loved Yuri immensely, but his love for Yuuri was something he had never been able to even imagine. Somehow he wanted to make everything work out.

Yuuri was talking to Yakov, but when Viktor stepped into the room, they both turned their attention on him. Yuuri shot up from the chair he had been sitting on, striding over and taking a hold of both of Viktor’s hands.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

Viktor nodded, slightly taken aback by the sudden attention. Yuuri’s new bodyguard was sitting in a corner, keeping an eye on the room with an indescribable look on his face. Yakov smiled.

“Yes,” Viktor managed to cough out.

“You should eat,” Yuuri said, “but then I hope I can take you out for a walk and we can talk.”

“Yes,” Viktor said, heat rising to his face.

Yuuri leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on Viktor’s lips, before pulling away and looking horrified. It was so comical that Viktor burst to laughter, bringing a perplexed smile onto the alpha’s lips. Yuuri stepped away, nearly tripping on a chair, and Viktor shot an amused glance his way before going into the kitchen for breakfast.

*

Just like they had agreed, after Viktor was done with his breakfast, he and Yuuri headed out. Viktor did not comment on the fact that Yuuri’s bodyguard was following them from a short distance away, until they had made it to the edge of the forest.

“You have a new bodyguard,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” Yuuri said, pulling a weird face as his hand nervously rose up to his hair. “He’s good.”

“What’s his name?” Viktor asked.

“Otabek,” Yuuri replied and glanced back to the guard. “You don’t have to worry about him.”

“I’m not,” Viktor said, although he wasn’t quite sure if it was the truth.

During his brief stay in the Katsuki estate, Viktor had gotten somewhat used to there being servants and guards around, but most of the time they had been invisible to him. He had stayed for a short amount of time, only a fraction of the time that he had now spent here in his new home with Yakov and Yuri.

“I don’t think it’s necessary for him to follow us,” Yuuri said, “but I also would feel odd without him.”

“You’re used to all that,” Viktor said.

They had been walking slowly along the path that swerved around the trees, the rising sun colouring the leaves gold.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said and stopped.

Viktor turned to him, and Yuuri took a hold of his hands.

“I know you weren’t comfortable staying with me,” Yuuri said. “I know you’re not used to that kind of life, and I understand it. It’s like I’m not used to living like you do.”

Viktor bit his lip. He wanted Yuuri to get to the point immediately just so they could be over the conversation phase and move on to being in a relationship – whatever that meant.

“Viktor, do you want me to leave you alone?” Yuuri asked. “Am I bothering you?”

Viktor immediately shook his head.

“No,” he said, worry lacing his voice. “I want you to…”

He had been going to say he wanted for Yuuri to stay, but how could he say something like that? He couldn’t make any demands, it wasn’t his place.

“What?” Yuuri asked, clearly oblivious to Viktor’s reservations. “You want me to what?”

Viktor bit his lip harder this time, and flinched with the sting. He looked down to the ground, between the two of them, their toes nearly touching. His eyes rose up to his tummy.

“Stay,” he whispered, partly hoping that Yuuri couldn’t hear him. “I want you to stay.”

Yuuri let go of his hands and pulled him into a warm hug.

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” he said, his low voice sending tremors down Viktor’s spine. “I will do anything for you, Viktor.”

“But where would you live?” Viktor asked, suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that Yuuri might be willing to move his life up north just for him.

“I heard that there’s room for another house next to yours,” Yuuri said, pulling back from the hug to look at Viktor.

“What?” was all Viktor could say.

“I was talking to Yakov this morning,” Yuuri said with a smile. “He happened to mention it.”

Viktor dropped his head and leaned his forehead on Yuuri’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe,” he said quietly, squeezing Yuuri tighter.

“Maybe one day you might feel up to traveling back south,” Yuuri said. “Maybe we could also have a house there, and live wherever we want.”

Viktor shook his head in disbelief. He would have never imagined that things could work out so well. It was almost too easy. There had to be something that would complicate things. And there was.

Viktor pushed away from Yuuri and looked at him. Yuuri’s face was soft, his eyes were smiling. His hair had grown during the time they hadn’t seen each other, and he had lost weight, the roundness of his cheeks gone.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Viktor said.

“I know,” Yuuri replied, throwing Viktor completely off the loop.

“How?” Viktor asked, already wondering if Yakov would be rude enough to share the news with Yuuri without asking him first.

“You said so last night,” Yuuri said. “I didn’t forget.”

Viktor felt stupid for doubting Yakov. He should have known better. He also felt stupid for forgetting that he had been about to tell Yuuri the previous night.

“Yeah,” he said and cleared his throat, taking a step back from Yuuri to properly look at the alpha.

Yuuri didn’t look particularly worried, more curious. His attention was on Viktor. Viktor swallowed. He wasn’t exactly keen on sharing it with Yuuri. He had had a hard time coming to terms with it himself, so how would Yuuri take it? They had so many decisions to make in a short amount of time.

Taking a deep breath, Viktor instinctively lifted a hand to his tummy.

“Yuuri,” he said. “I’m pregnant.”

Yuuri’s jaw dropped before the alpha could collect himself. He swallowed, squirming in place, and Viktor’s ears were humming in fear of what Yuuri would say. His lower lip was already trembling, when Yuuri took a deep breath.

“How?” the alpha asked. “You said you can’t-.”

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said, bursting to tears. “I didn’t lie, I swear.”

He pressed his hands over his face, sobbing uncontrollably. He was waiting for Yuuri’s scent to change to angry, he was waiting for Yuuri to walk away. He jolted in surprised when he felt Yuuri place a hand on his shoulder, before slowly pulling him in for a hug.

“That doesn’t explain how it happened,” Yuuri said quietly, no trace of anger in his voice.

Viktor sniffled.

“Yakov thinks it’s because,” he mumbled against Yuuri’s shoulder, trying to pull himself together. “It could be because he… that alpha… the alpha…”

“Eduard Volkov,” Yuuri said, gritting his teeth.

Viktor lifted his head up, body still trembling with quiet sobs, but his eyes were wide in surprise.

“How do you know his name?” he asked, not sure how to feel about the revelation.

Yuuri smiled drily.

“The same way I knew where to find you,” he said. “But what does Yakov think?”

Viktor sniffled and lifted a hand to wipe tears off his left cheek, careful to not push Yuuri away.

“He never… took me while I was in heat,” Viktor said quietly. “He didn’t… His ruts and my heats never lined up.”

Yuuri hummed and lifted a hand to stroke Viktor’s right cheek.

“So, his theory is that you simply weren’t fertile enough and it was just a big coincidence?” he asked, thoughtfully swiping his thumb over Viktor’s cheek boke. “I guess that’s possible.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” Viktor felt the need to repeat.

Yuuri looked at him, their eyes meeting. Viktor was afraid that Yuuri would push him away any moment now.

“I believe you, Viktor,” Yuuri said and stroked Viktor’s hair. “I guess you’ve been lucky until now.”

Viktor didn’t know what to say to that. He certainly would have hated to get pregnant by Eduard Volkov for a second time. It could have cost him his life, not just his fertility – which hadn’t been compromised as much as he had thought either. However, Yuuri’s words implied what he had already feared: that the alpha didn’t want a child, most likely especially because it was with Viktor.

“How do you feel now?” Yuuri asked. “You’re going to have a baby.”

Viktor blinked, trying to chase any remaining tears away.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Yuuri added, and Viktor could have burst to tears again.

“I’m not expecting you to want this,” Viktor said, but Yuuri was already shaking his head.

“Viktor, if you think I’m going to run away because of this, you’re gravely mistaken,” he said.

Viktor swallowed.

“But it’s my own fault,” he tried to argue. “I should have accepted the birth control rather than be so stubborn.”

Yuuri cupped his face with gentle hands.

“It’s not like you knew this could happen,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”

Viktor’s heart was hammering his chest. Yuuri’s touch was soft and loving, his scent reassuring and full of love unlike any Viktor had ever known.

“There’s still a chance to terminate the pregnancy,” he said so quietly it wasn’t much more than a whisper.

“Do you want to?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor shivered, thinking about his old master approaching with a metal coat hanger and telling him to spread his legs.

“Viktor?” Yuuri asked, placing his hands on Viktor’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

Viktor sniffled and looked at Yuuri to chase away the image.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I have to keep it.”

Yuuri blinked slowly.

“I’m not sure I understand completely,” he said, “but you must know that I’m always here for you. I will do anything you need to be comfortable and happy, even if it means leaving you.”

“No,” Viktor whispered in a frenzy, clutching onto Yuuri’s clothes as if the alpha could suddenly disappear. “You can’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” Yuuri said and pressed a soft kiss to Viktor’s chin. “Viktor?”

Viktor breathed deeply a few times, trying to calm his nerves, before looking at Yuuri again.

“Will you marry me, Viktor?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“Yes,” Viktor answered without hesitation.

Yuuri’s image blurred with the tears that returned to Viktor’s eyes, and he tried to blink them away. He might not have thought that he would be marrying the alpha so soon, but he was desperate for anything to make sure that Yuuri wouldn’t go like he had. Leaving Yuuri had been the biggest mistake of his life, even though going with Yakov and Yuri had been the best decision he had made. His emotions had been conflicting ever since he had told Yuuri that he had to go, ever since he had seen the desperate love on the alpha’s face when they stood next to one another on that early morning, Yakov and Yuri waiting behind Viktor.

“I’m sorry I left,” Viktor gasped before breaking into sobs and hiccups.

Yuuri stroked his back and pulled him closer.

“I know you had to,” he said. “I understand why you did.”

“I’m sorry,” Viktor sobbed against Yuuri’s shirt that already had a wet spot where Viktor had cried before.

“Don’t be,” Yuuri said reassuringly. “I’m sure that our lives can be much better up here.”

*

After Viktor’s tears had dried, they had continued the walk, hand in hand, Otabek trailing behind. Viktor told Yuuri about his life with Yakov and Yuri, and after Yuuri had talked to him about how horrible he had felt at home, Viktor also told him about his pain of being apart from the alpha. They circled back to town, and Yuuri insisted on stopping at the jeweller to buy Viktor a ring. He ordered a special design for both of them, leaving the jeweller a very happy man with his newly acquired money.

Yuuri had also rented a room from the guesthouse, and Viktor was now sitting in the bathtub filled with warm water, soaking away all the stress of the early day. While he had been at peace living with Yakov and Yuri, he had constantly been consumed by how much he missed Yuuri by his side, and now for the first time in weeks he felt completely free of any worries. The water relaxed him, and he wanted nothing more than to sit and soak for the rest of the day. However, he soon got up and out of the tub, finding a soft towel to dry himself. Wrapped in the towel, he went back to the room where Yuuri was sitting on the bed.

“Did you enjoy your bath?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” Yuuri said.

He headed to the bathroom, then turned around and returned to touch Viktor’s shoulder. They smiled at each other. Yuuri turned back to the bathroom, and this time made it there.

Viktor sat on the bed. It was strange to know that Yuuri was right there, just behind the door, and not kilometres away. It was also strange to think that Yuuri’s bodyguard Otabek was right behind the other door, guarding the hallway in case a mysterious stranger might attack. Viktor laughed at the thought. The town wasn’t as small as the one where he had grown up in, but it was still peaceful and quiet, the biggest event of the month being Yuuri’s arrival. The previous big event had been Yakov bringing him and Yuri back with him. There would be no disturbance, no assassins. Yuuri was unknown to people, because rich friends of the prince of another region didn’t come here.

Yuuri…

Viktor lay down on the bed. It was the only bed in the room. Viktor knew why they had come to the guesthouse, even if Yuuri had said it was just so they could talk in private. That’s why he had taken a bath too, that’s why Yuuri was currently bathing.

Thinking of Yuuri as an alpha was exciting Viktor. That was strange too, because he had gotten used to being afraid. He thought back to when he had first met Yuuri and all he felt towards the alpha was hatred and fear. He had wanted nothing to do with the man. Yet here he was now, not able to imagine living his life without Yuuri by his side in one way or another. Was this right? Shouldn’t he be feeling resentment and fear like he had before?

Viktor lifted his fingers onto his scent gland, touched the soft skin. The scent that filled the air was that of a bonded omega, it carried the promise of the alpha’s present. It was Yuuri with him, and his heart made a funny flip in his chest when he thought about Yuuri being with him. He had already tried living without the alpha, and it didn’t work.

Yuuri wasn’t used to omegas serving him, but Viktor wondered if there was a certain way the alpha would like him to act. He knew that Yuuri had told him time and time again that he was free to do as he pleased, but surely as the alpha’s fiancé there was something he was supposed to do. As an alpha, Yuuri would want Viktor to serve him.

With determination Viktor dried his hair and threw the towel off the bed. It had been a few years, but he could still remember exactly how he had been taught to wait for his alpha. He would do that, he would surprise Yuuri with his submissiveness. It would make the alpha happy.

Viktor lay down on his side and looked at the bathroom door. He had no idea how long Yuuri was going to take. If he had to wait too long in position, his limbs would get stiff and he wouldn’t be much fun. However, he had to make sure to be in position when the door opened, or it would be apparent that he was slacking off when he should only be thinking about his alpha. He could hear water splashing, which could be indication of Yuuri finishing his bath.

Slowly Viktor turned to lie on his stomach, before he raised his ass up. He spread his knees apart, trying to remember how much was necessary for his hole to be presented just so, how much his back had to curve to make him seem approachable and easy. He wondered if Yuuri liked him more now that he wasn’t quite as skinny. Would Yuuri like seeing him presenting on the bed like this, just waiting to be penetrated? It excited Viktor, thinking of himself being wanted, but at the bottom of it all he was starting to feel a familiar burn. He tried to ignore it, spread his knees just a bit more, even lifted his upper body to see if his cock and balls were hanging right in the middle of his open legs. He wondered if he should touch himself to get hard. He didn’t know if Yuuri would like that, or if the alpha would prefer getting him hard himself.

Viktor rested his chest on the bed again. The burn inside him was getting much harder to ignore. The way his back curved as he pushed his ass out more reminded him of all the times he had been told to assume the position, and he had done so. He thought about the way his master had taught him the right position, how his hands had been soft and forgiving when he was still a young boy, but how those same hands had gotten so rough when he failed to have his back in the exact curve that pleased his master that day, or if he was soft when he was supposed to be hard or vice versa, even though he never knew which was right. He remembered one time when the master had actually told him to be hard, but he had just come out of his heat the previous day and wasn’t able to get hard before the master entered the bedroom.

It was bad to think about those things, and Viktor forced himself to think about all things Yuuri. Yuuri’s scent was in him. Yuuri was right behind the door. Yuuri had asked him to marry him. Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri…

Of course, Viktor couldn’t completely push away the intrusive thoughts. He shivered and tried to at least block away the memories of being caned while told to remain in position. Sometimes the cane hit the back of his balls and he would scream so loud it was a miracle that no one had ever heard him, had never come to help. He lifted a hand to his ass cheek, suddenly certain that he would feel raised welts over his skin, suddenly certain that his skin was burning from each stroke of the cane.

His legs were shaking and he gave up, let himself slump onto the bed, back to the bathroom door. He was still trying to swallow the tears away, he had to stay in control or Yuuri might be scared away. He needed Yuuri so badly it hurt, he needed the alpha to tell him that there was no way he would ever hurt like that again.

But what if?

“No,” Viktor mumbled into the pillow.

His mind didn’t listen. It was already going on about all the different ways Yuuri could betray his trust, how the alpha might just be waiting to legally own Viktor before showing his true colours. Maybe Yuuri would turn out to be worse than his old master. Maybe Yuuri would burn him the same way he had once seen an omega burnt by his master. Maybe Yuuri would do that – after all, the alpha hadn’t hesitated to mark him.

He wasn’t as beautiful as he used to be. Viktor had remained unmarked just because of his looks, but now he was old. He was too old to be someone’s chosen omega. Ever since he had been off the streets he had been getting proper meals and was gaining the weight he had lost during his years on the run. What if Yuuri liked his omegas skinny? What if Yuuri would hate him when he was back to his normal weight?

Viktor wanted to dig deep under the blankets and disappear. He was almost hoping that Yuuri had never shown up. As much as he needed Yuuri to feel happy and at ease, was it really worth all the pain? He could leave now that Yuuri was still taking a bath. He could go back home to Yakov and Yuri and pretend that Yuuri had always been gone. Somehow he could forget, somehow.

He jolted violently when the bathroom door opened. He heard Yuuri before smelling him, the alpha’s scent suppressed by the water on his skin. It was too late to leave in secret, but he could still tell the alpha that he didn’t want to…

But didn’t he? Now that he heard Yuuri breathing the same air as him, now that he heard the alpha’s carefree footsteps slapping towards the bed like nothing had changed, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Viktor?” Yuuri’s familiar voice called, and Viktor felt an urgent need to turn and face him.

However, his reaction didn’t prove anything other than the fact that he had been bonded to an alpha, he had been claimed by this strong alpha, and he belonged to the alpha standing behind him next to the bed, waiting for him to say something. The way his heart sped up when Yuuri was close was natural, wasn’t it?

“Are you alright?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor heard the alpha move, circle around the bed to take a look at his face. He wanted to turn and hide behind a pillow, but he didn’t move. He lay still, staring into nothing that was located very close to the windowsill on the pale wall.

“Why are you crying?” Yuuri asked, and his voice was filled with care and worry.

Viktor shook his head. He didn’t particularly want to talk about the past. He wanted to push it aside and pretend that it wasn’t eating him up inside. The book he was reading had suggested that victims of abuse sometimes did that to deal with their painful past. The book hadn’t told him whether it was a good or a bad thing. He wanted to know.

“It’s okay, Viktor,” Yuuri said as he sat down.

Yuuri was so far away, too far away. Viktor wanted to press against the alpha and feel his warmth, wanted to feel like he was wanted. But he could never say that. Instead, with shaky limbs, he pushed himself up and into the position, hoping that Yuuri wasn’t put off by his crying face.

“Viktor?” Yuuri said in a tone of voice Viktor wasn’t expecting from an alpha who had an omega presenting before him. “What are you doing?”

Viktor turned his face into the pillow and swallowed before lifting himself up enough to talk.

“I’m your omega,” he said. “You can take me.”

It couldn’t have been more than a heartbeat or two, but it felt like time stopped around them. Yuuri was staring at Viktor’s open body, and Viktor held himself up, made sure to curve his back and offer his hole for the taking. He couldn’t read any cues from Yuuri, and was getting nervous already.

“No, Viktor,” Yuuri said.

A warm hand was placed on Viktor’s hip, and he let himself be pushed down onto the bed. He blinked at Yuuri, who was frowning at him.

“Why are you doing that?” the alpha asked. “I told you before that I don’t want you to be my omega.”

Viktor looked closely at the alpha’s face, but couldn’t find anything other than sincerity.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t mind being an omega. I can be that if you want.”

“No,” Yuuri said, with more heat behind the word. “I don’t want that. And I know you don’t want to do that either.”

“But I can,” Viktor said almost too eagerly and sat up to face Yuuri. “I can do whatever you want me to do.”

“Stop that,” Yuuri said and took a soft hold of Viktor’s shoulders. “What’s gotten into you? You used to be so afraid of me treating you like an omega, and now you’re offering yourself to me like that’s what we’ve been doing all this time. I don’t understand it.”

Yuuri did look perplexed, which in turn confused Viktor. He had been sure that Yuuri would appreciate his effort to be more like an omega and less… independent and difficult. He had been so sure that Yuuri would want him to show at least some submissiveness before him.

“Tell me, what are you thinking,” Yuuri asked. “I want to understand.”

Viktor clasped his hands together and looked down to his naked lap. He was glad that he hadn’t gotten hard before Yuuri came into the room.

“I thought you might like it,” he said quietly.

“But why?” Yuuri asked. “I never told you I wanted that. In fact, I think I’ve been telling you the exact opposite.”

Viktor turned his eyes to his fingers that were so tightly wound together that his knuckles were white.

“Don’t you want an omega?” Viktor asked. “After all these years, don’t you finally want to feel like you can be an alpha?”

“Viktor,” Yuuri said quietly, almost a whisper.

The alpha touched Viktor’s chin with a single finger, a suggestion, and Viktor followed it to look up.

“I don’t want an omega,” Yuuri said. “I want you. I want Viktor the person.”

Yuuri reached down, and for a fraction of a second Viktor thought that the alpha was going to grasp his cock, but instead felt a touch over his hands.

“Besides,” Yuuri mumbled, colour rising to his cheeks. “I’m afraid that if you give yourself to me like that, I’ll accidentally hurt you. I’m not known for my ability to hold back.”

“But,” Viktor felt the need to push. “Don’t you want to take me?”

Yuuri laughed drily.

“I want you so bad, Viktor,” he said. “I want you in every possible way, but I know I can’t simply take. You first need to give, and I know that you don’t really want to give yourself to me in that way.”

Yuuri gestured vaguely, trying to paint a picture of Viktor bent over on the bed.

“Why were you crying, Viktor?” Yuuri asked. “Is it because I’m right and you didn’t really want to do what you did?”

Viktor opened his mouth to retort, but then closed it in thought. In a way, Yuuri was right. He hadn’t really wanted to make himself so vulnerable, even if the biggest threat had been all in his head. It was the fear of being so open and then being taken advantage of, being assaulted for trying to follow orders.

“Is that right?” Yuuri asked nervously.

Viktor nodded, a single tear dropping onto his cheek. He let go of his hand to wipe it away, angry that he wasn’t able to keep his tears away now that Yuuri was there.

“I was thinking about what happened before,” Viktor whispered.

“What happened?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor’s hands were shaking. Yuuri took a hold of one and brought it up to his mouth, lips brushing over the knuckles.

“You’re safe with me, I promise,” he said.

Viktor wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk. He had promised Yuuri that they would communicate, that he wouldn’t try to keep things to himself to help the alpha know how to deal with him, but it was hard.

“He was rarely happy with me,” Viktor forced out. “He… I was never right.”

Yuuri looked at him, even though he wouldn’t meet the alpha’s eyes.

“Did he cane you then?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor jerked his head up, eyes wide.

“Ah, I just thought,” Yuuri explained. “When I saw the scars on your back, they went down to your thighs, so I thought that maybe…”

“Yuuri,” Viktor said, interrupting whatever the alpha was still trying to say. “Will you kiss me?”

Yuuri regarded him for a moment.

“Do you want to?” the alpha asked.

Viktor nodded. Yuuri seemed pleased with that answer, and leaned forward to bring their lips together. It was a soft, unassuming kiss, but it was exactly what Viktor had wanted, had needed. He felt Yuuri’s life on the alpha’s lips, he felt the life sparkle inside himself, and he pressed closer to feel wanted, to feel right. Yuuri embraced him with his strong arms, and Viktor felt happiness fill him like liquid flowing through his veins.

It was over too soon. Yuuri pushed Viktor to lie down, and then lay down next to him, hand stroking over Viktor’s shoulder and onto his neck.

“You’re not wearing my collar anymore,” the alpha said.

Viktor turned to look at the alpha’s face.

“I still have it,” he said. “I wanted to ask Yakov to shorten it so I could wear it on my wrist, but I wasn’t sure… I thought that maybe I would want to wear it on my neck again.”

Yuuri didn’t say anything to that, merely watched how his fingers slid over Viktor’s skin.

“Do you want me to wear a collar?” Viktor asked.

Maybe Yuuri wanted his omega to wear a collar as a mark of ownership, even if he was already carrying the alpha’s mark.

“No,” Yuuri said. “I want you to do what you want.”

Viktor was fearful, wondering if this was a test of some kind. Maybe Yuuri was trying to see how deep his loyalty was. He certainly should have thought about it before, maybe put on the collar in the morning to show Yuuri that he hadn’t strayed far.

“You don’t really need a collar anymore, do you?” Yuuri said, fingers brushing over his mark on Viktor’s neck. “You’re not on the run, and you have a mark. No one’s going to think twice about you.”

Viktor blinked in surprise. He had once again expected the worst and got the best instead.

“I just want you to feel free,” Yuuri said and kissed Viktor’s shoulder.

Free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to get chapter two out that I might as well post this chapter already. Since my notes in the previous chapter were such a downer, my happy news are that I got a medusa piercing that I wanted and it looks so good!
> 
> As for when I might have chapter four out, I have no idea. So far it consists of my notes "sex chapter", as if I might forget that that's where I was going to take the story next.


	4. Chapter 4

All the conflicting emotions were making Yuuri tired, and the comfortable bed combined with Viktor’s sweet scent weren’t helping him stay alert. He couldn’t believe how natural it felt to lie next to Viktor, even after they had been apart. He felt fulfilled in the same way he had felt completely hollow once Viktor’s nest had been destroyed. He couldn’t believe it had been less than three months but it had felt like a lifetime, and now that he was finally here, next to Viktor, he felt like he could be calm and sleep properly.

His eyes were heavy as he let his fingers dance over Viktor’s skin, the rough feel of his own mark on the omega’s neck an exciting tickle somewhere deep inside him, the knowledge that in some undisputable way Viktor belonged to him as much as he belonged to Viktor. He wished that Viktor understood him better, trusted that he would never force the omega to do anything uncomfortable, that he wouldn’t be one to betray Viktor’s trust. In some way it was unbelievable that he was now lying here next to Viktor, the omega so vulnerable next to him.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said quietly, his voice nearly drowned out by his own breath.

“Hmm?” Yuuri responded, too tired to open his mouth.

“I want you to take me,” Viktor said.

That was enough to snap Yuuri back to attentiveness, all hints of sleep gone in the blink of an eye. He lifted his head to look at Viktor, whose cheeks were dusted pink. The omega wasn’t quite meeting his eyes, gaze diverting his.

“Are you sure?” was the only thing Yuuri could think to ask.

He had assumed that Viktor would be too shaken to do anything more than cuddling. He didn’t smell arousal on the omega either, so he felt like this was Viktor trying to prove something to himself rather than real want for sex.

“Yes,” Viktor said and bit his lip. “Please.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Yuuri said.

If this was a test, he sure hoped that he was taking the right approach. If only he knew how to better read Viktor, how to understand the omega’s wants and needs so well that he wouldn’t have to ask every time, wouldn’t have to try to read the conflicting body-language and make assumptions that might prove so wrong it could ruin all the trust he had managed to build between them. Viktor had promised to talk to him, but he understood why it was difficult. The moment Viktor had said so, he had known it wouldn’t happen immediately, if ever.

Viktor turned his face towards him, eyes big and teary.

“Why?” the omega asked quietly. “Don’t you want me?”

“Viktor,” Yuuri said and swallowed when he felt a lump rise to his throat.

He carefully stroked Viktor’s cheek with fingertips, pushed silver hair behind the omega’s ear to stop it from going into his eyes.

“What should I do?” Viktor asked. “Do you want me to beg?”

“No!” Yuuri hurried to interrupt before Viktor could go into a rampage of things he would do to be loved by Yuuri. “I just thought you were too upset to want it.”

Viktor looked at him with his big eyes, so blue it both scared and captivated him. Yuuri could still feel the effect Viktor presenting to him had had on his nether regions. It had been good. It had been so good he was surprised he hadn’t simply taken. He was thankful to whatever higher power was out there for giving him restraint when it came to Viktor.

“I don’t want you to think that it’s for me,” he said. “I want you to always feel that it’s for both of us. Sex. I want it to always be mutual.”

Viktor blinked slowly, brows making minuscule movements as he thought.

“So, you don’t want to?” the omega finally asked.

“Viktor, no, that’s not what I meant,” Yuuri said and sat up with a sigh. “I’m… I’m scared that I don’t understand you correctly and will scare you away. I never want you to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Viktor said, still lying down.

“Yes, you are,” Yuuri said with more heat than he had meant. “Why else would you have thought that you need to present to me? You’re afraid that I’m going to leave you if you don’t act like a submissive, but you’re also afraid that I’m going to force you to be submissive to me. Doesn’t that mean that you’re always afraid of me?”

Yuuri turned to look at Viktor, who was lying on the bed in his naked glory, milky skin looking soft and nipples pink and puffy. His eyes were brimming with tears, and Yuuri worried that he had gone too far, been too harsh.

“I’m sorry,” he started to say, but Viktor cut him off.

“I don’t understand what you want from me. Why can’t you give me rules?”

“You know why,” Yuuri said softly and placed a hand on Viktor’s shaking shoulder. “I don’t want to keep you as an omega. You will be my… husband. We’ll get married and you’ll be my husband, equal to me. I want you to be free from your restraints.”

“But I don’t know how to live like that!” Viktor exclaimed, voice snotty, and turned his back to Yuuri, slowly curling into himself.

“I understand that,” Yuuri said.

He wanted to hug Viktor but wasn’t sure if it was allowed. He wanted to help the omega calm down, but what could he do without making things worse? He swallowed, feeling miserable and helpless, then slowly placed a hand on Viktor’s arm, hoping that it was neutral enough.

“I might never be what you want me to be,” Viktor mumbled. “I’m a disappointment.”

“You’re not,” Yuuri said. “Sure, I maybe didn’t expect you to be so broken, but it’s not a disappointment. If I have to tell you that you’re free and equal to me every day for the rest of our lives, I will. I will do whatever it takes to help you.”

“Then why won’t you take me?” Viktor sniffled.

Yuuri bit his lip. He decided it was probably safe to get closer, and slowly he lay down behind the omega, equally slowly bringing Viktor into an embrace.

“Because sometimes you’re not honest with your desires,” he whispered. “You have to stop forcing yourself to try things that you don’t want. As much as you need to trust me, I also need to know I can trust you.”

Viktor sniffled quietly, but seemed to be calming down again. Yuuri pressed his lips against the omega’s nape, slow kisses luring out Viktor’s scent.

“I know it’s not easy,” Yuuri said, lips brushing against the skin before him, “but please, be honest with me.”

Viktor didn’t say anything, but had relaxed into Yuuri’s hold, and he took that as a good sign. He continued teasing the omega’s skin with little kisses, nose brushing against the soft hair, and soon he felt Viktor timidly take a hold of his hand. It made his heart jump in the most pleasant of ways, and he squeezed the omega’s hand. Viktor pressed closer to him, butt subtly rubbing against his groin.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said.

Yuuri hadn’t gotten used to hearing his name from the omega after the break yet, and his heart did funny things now that he heard it. He had to take a moment to calm down before he felt he could talk.

“Yes, Viktor?”

Viktor was playing with Yuuri’s fingers, neck curved beautifully as he watched how their hands fit together.

“I want you to mark me again,” Viktor said then, voice quiet but clear.

“Again?” Yuuri repeated in surprise.

Viktor turned to look at him over his shoulder.

“On the other side,” Viktor said. “I want to be completely yours.”

Viktor’s eyes were sincere and the omega didn’t turn his gaze away. Yuuri squeezed the hand in his hold.

“Yes,” he said. “If that’s what you want, I will do it.”

“I want it,” Viktor said. “I’m tired of being afraid, Yuuri. I want to give myself to you completely so I can stop being afraid.”

Yuuri pressed a wet kiss on Viktor’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure that he agreed with or even understood the omega’s logic, but maybe it was important for Viktor.

“And you’re being honest right now?” Yuuri felt the need to ask. “You have to be honest.”

“I am,” Viktor said, letting go of Yuuri’s hand to pull him closer. “I promise.”

Yuuri believed him. He wanted to believe what Viktor said, even if a small part of him felt like this might be yet another test, that Viktor was somehow still trying to prove him unreliable. Viktor brought their lips together, and for a while Yuuri allowed himself to melt into the kiss, not thinking about anything other than Viktor’s soft lips against his own, Viktor’s soft scent surrounding them both. That Viktor was the one pulling him in, graceful hands in his hair, on his neck.

Viktor was also the one to break the kiss, and Yuuri took his time opening his eyes, wanting to linger in the feeling of mutual love that was now so much clearer again.

“It’s going to hurt more,” Yuuri said and opened his eyes to meet Viktor’s gaze. “You’re not in heat.”

“It’s okay,” Viktor said. “I’m not afraid of pain.”

Yuuri felt like crying as the weight of Viktor’s words suddenly crushed him. He lowered his face, pressed it against Viktor’s lean chest, then turned his head to hear how the omega’s heart was beating. It wasn’t calm. It was fast, and Yuuri couldn’t help thinking that it was the heartbeat of a cornered animal struggling to escape. He closed his eyes to shut out his surroundings. The only thing that mattered was Viktor, Viktor’s erratic heartbeat, and he wished that he could believe it was a sign of excited nervousness rather than fear.

“I love you, Viktor,” Yuuri said, voice quiet but the words heavy with feeling.

He wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard a slight change in the way Viktor’s heart was beating, and it gave him hope.

“Scent me, Yuuri,” Viktor said.

His voice was an echo in his chest, and slowly Yuuri lifted his head to look at the omega’s face. There was a new kind of glow on Viktor, something different about the way the omega looked at him, and he wanted to know how to keep it there.

“Yes,” he said, remaining still for a while longer to appreciate the omega’s sudden calmness.

Viktor sighed when Yuuri crawled up, nose brushing against the omega’s scent gland, then a kiss before he finally brought their glands together. Their scents mingling together had never felt as good as it did now, their bodies naked against one another and Viktor’s quickened breath right next to his ear. He closed his eyes and let the scent fill him with want and love, and trust that they would be together, however hard it might be. Their necks rubbed together and he felt how his scent gland released his pheromones, how they bonded with Viktor’s, how they were one, together and separate, and he could have cried with how happy he was.

Yuuri had no idea how long they stayed that way, necks pressed together and a thick scent of bonding around them. He was rubbing his hips against Viktor, cock hard and throbbing with need, and he felt Viktor’s small cock equally hard against his thigh. He carefully stroked down Viktor’s back, stopped at the omega’s buttocks. Viktor had a nice ass, small but round, and Yuuri was happy to feel that it had gotten slightly more rounded now that Viktor was eating properly. He softly groped the flesh, enjoying the way it gave under his fingertips. Viktor purred quietly, just a short sound, but it was the best thing Yuuri had heard. His stomach was flipping, sudden feel of lightness surged through him, and he squeezed Viktor’s ass just a bit tighter before dipping his fingers between the cheeks.

Viktor was soaking wet, his slick having already made a mess of his ass. Yuuri guided his finger along the crack, over the twitching entrance. Viktor jumped, arms holding Yuuri closer to himself. There was now a new layer to the omega’s scent: something needy and urgent, but no hint of fear. Yuuri pulled his finger up and cupped Viktor’s cock. It was wet too, pre-come dripping out of the tip uncontrollably. Viktor pushed his hips against Yuuri’s touch, a soft whine filling the air between them. Yuuri stroked down the length, fondled the omega’s small balls, then dipped his fingers behind them to the wet heat. Viktor spread his legs to give him more room. Yuuri took that as a sign of uttermost trust, and he hoped that he wouldn’t make Viktor regret opening up like that.

When Yuuri’s finger met the pucker of Viktor’s entrance again, the omega moaned quietly, gently rocking his hips into the touch. Each breath was now a whine, quiet, almost unnoticeable, but Yuuri could hear it all clear as day. He pressed a digit against the quivering hole that was continuing to produce slick, and entrance was easy. Viktor let out a louder whine when the finger entered him, but the omega’s scent confirmed that it was a whine of pleasure. Yuuri pushed farther in, although couldn’t get very deep from his angle. Viktor’s walls were soft and hot, making him imagine how good it would feel to bury his cock deep inside that greedy hole.

Then he thought about the last time they had done this, the fact that it had resulted in a baby. There was now a baby inside Viktor. It was their baby. The animalistic side of Yuuri enjoyed knowing that he had successfully bred an omega, and his cock pulsed with need to do it again, fuck into the omega’s wet and pliable hole and pump it full of his semen. He rubbed his neck against Viktor’s a bit more vigorously, a second finger joining the first one inside the omega. Viktor’s palms were warm against his back, and he felt loved. He felt so loved and happy that he wanted to cry, but his alpha side was getting tired of the distractions, taking over more and more of his thoughts, his cock throbbing next to Viktor’s small cock as if it knew how close it was to the awaiting hole.

With a loud groan Yuuri pulled his fingers out and lifted his body enough to spread Viktor’s legs wide open. He looked at the omega with hunger, he was ready to take, hands pressed against the soft skin of the omega’s inner thighs. Before doing anything more he remembered to look up at Viktor’s face to make sure that he wasn’t crossing a line. Viktor’s cheeks were flushed, eyes glassy and mouth just a bit open, scent heavy with sex, and it was all Yuuri needed to know that it was good.

Yuuri entered with a sharp push, cock slipping all the way inside at once. Viktor yelped loudly, back arching and hands fists in the sheets, pleasure apparent in his scent. Yuuri felt a rush, there was no time to stop, and he fucked inside the omega’s willing hole as hard as he could, as fast as he could, arms wrapped around Viktor’s waist. Viktor was unexpectedly loud, moaning with each thrust of Yuuri’s hurried hips, and Yuuri loved it, drank it all in as he pressed his open mouth on the omega’s chest in an attempt of a kiss. His hips were working with the power of nearly three month’s longing for his omega, his other half, and somewhere deep in his mind he was wondering if Viktor felt the same, if it was somehow different for the pregnant omega or if they were both feeling like finally they were complete.

Quite soon he started feeling his knot starting to swell, and with a flurry of limbs and slick he managed to change his position enough to take Viktor’s cock in his hand. He was surprised that the omega hadn’t come yet, even more so when he felt how hard and wet his cock was. It only took a couple of strokes for Viktor to moan out with a broken voice and release between their bodies, body twitching on the bed and his walls tight around Yuuri’s forming knot. Yuuri didn’t let go of the omega’s cock. He enjoyed the whimpers of overstimulation that were now filling the room, how Viktor’s hands found purchase on his shoulders and then on his back, sharp nails pressing against his skin before retreating, a sharp pull on his hair when his knot formed completely and he started coming.

Blindly Yuuri surged forward and bit Viktor’s neck over the scent gland on the unmarked side. His hand around Viktor’s cock was most likely gripping too hard, his knot spreading the omega’s hole to its limit as his teeth broke through skin and he tasted blood. Viktor was practically screaming, cock pulsing in Yuuri’s hold as he came, this time less messily. Yuuri was still riding out his orgasm, the alpha in him making sure that each drop of his semen was spurting deep inside the omega, hips pressed so close to Viktor it seemed impossible, how they could be so close in every way. He only let go of Viktor’s neck after the last twitch of his cock. His hands were holding Viktor’s hips, and he had no idea at what point he had let go of the omega’s cock. His lips were wet. When he licked them, he tasted blood. Viktor was panting under him, one hand still a tight fist in Yuuri’s hair, the other splayed on the bed.

Carefully Yuuri forced himself to lift his body and roll them over, Viktor’s fresh mark up to not irritate it with the pillows. The omega had his eyes closed, but the tight hold of Yuuri’s hair was loosening. Yuuri stroked Viktor’s back until the omega completely let go and moved his arm to a more comfortable position. Yuuri pressed a soft kiss on Viktor’s chin.

Viktor opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Yuuri said with a smile. “Are you okay?”

Viktor nodded. His eyes looked searching, not focusing on anything in particular, and soon the omega closed them again.

“Are you tired?” Yuuri asked and brushed a strand of hair off Viktor’s neck to stop it from getting into the wound.

Viktor nodded again, but then winced.

“It hurts,” the omega said, voice whiny in a way that Yuuri had never heard before.

Then Viktor’s words registered, and suddenly Yuuri’s heart was pounding with panic rather than content happiness.

“What?” he asked. “Was I too rough?”

Viktor shook his head before Yuuri could ask the hundred more questions that were now popping up completely unprompted. The omega opened his eyes and smiled softly.

“The mark,” he said. “You bit me hard.”

“I’m so sorry!” Yuuri hurried to say, his loud voice making Viktor frown.

“You have blood on your lips,” Viktor said.

Yuuri lifted a hand to his mouth and wiped over his mouth. His hand did get a smear of blood on it.

“You’re worried,” Viktor then said.

Yuuri turned to look at him. The omega was now staring directly at him, and it made him surprisingly uneasy.

“Of course I’m worried,” Yuuri said. “I never want to hurt you.”

Viktor giggled. It was a cute sound, it was one more new side of Viktor that Yuuri had never seen, and he had no idea what he had done to trigger such a change in the omega.

“It’s not bad pain,” Viktor said. “I know marking hurts. It probably hurt just as much the last time.”

Yuuri wanted to apologise again and again, but something in Viktor’s face made him keep quiet. Instead he worried his lip, brows furrowed so deeply they were getting into his field of vision. Viktor looked content there in his arms, so he gradually allowed himself to relax. He was surprised to find that his knot was still firmly keeping them together, and the idea made his cock spurt a bit more semen, just the overwhelming knowledge that he was inside his lover, his fiancé and future husband. Not to mention that his future husband was lying there, eyes half-lidded and lips curved into a soft smile.

“Next time I want it to be softer,” Yuuri mumbled and pressed his nose as close to Viktor’s freshly marked scent gland as he could. “I always wanted it to be soft with you.”

“But I like this side of you,” Viktor said quietly, fingers combing through Yuuri’s hair. “You’re usually too controlled. It’s good to see that you’re just a human after all.”

Yuuri looked at the omega before him. Viktor’s face seemed sincere.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” he asked.

Viktor smiled, a hint of sadness underneath the happy glow of his face.

“I would have thought so,” the omega said. “But I find that you bring me a sense of safety.”

Viktor seemed to be thinking, so Yuuri gave him time. The omega still seemed to glow the oddly happy glow that he had only seen today, but now his usual sadness was slowly seeping in.

“I guess that’s scary,” Viktor finally said. “If I think you’re safe but then turn out to be…”

“I won’t let you down, Viktor,” Yuuri said before Viktor could think of a way to end his though. “I know you can only learn to trust it with time, but I promise you. I will never hurt you.”

Viktor’s smile was crooked.

“What if you go into rut while I’m pregnant?” Viktor asked. “I might not be able to satisfy you.”

Yuuri took a hold of Viktor’s hand.

“Bonded alphas don’t have ruts while their omega is expecting,” he said. “Didn’t you know that?”

The way Viktor blinked was enough of an answer.

“Sometimes I forget that you weren’t given the education you deserve,” Yuuri said. “It’s hard to imagine that you as an omega wouldn’t know things about being an omega.”

“I don’t even want to be an omega,” Viktor whispered.

Yuuri shifted forward, let go of Viktor’s hand to stroke his hair.

“I know that,” he said. “And I truly understand why. It has only brought you pain.”

“Until I met you,” Viktor said, very quietly, and Yuuri wasn’t sure he had heard correctly.

“Do you really feel that?” he had to ask.

Viktor nodded, and Yuuri brought their lips together, kissing Viktor with all the feelings he had. The omega quickly backed away, however.

“You taste like blood,” Viktor said, but smiled.

Yuuri’s cheeks heated up.

“I forgot,” he said, somehow managed a laugh.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said.

Yuuri waited for the omega to continue, but Viktor was now focused on watching his face.

“Yes?” Yuuri asked, when the omega stayed silent.

“Are you going to make your ownership official?” Viktor asked.

The omega’s voice was calm on the surface, but Yuuri could smell the underlying distress that was starting to rise.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully, hoping that it was the right way to calm Viktor. “I talked to Yakov, and he says he doesn’t want to register the two of you as his property, even though everyone seems to take that as granted.”

“Oh,” Viktor said. “We never talked about that. He doesn’t want us, huh?”

Yuuri sighed.

“He’s worried that your previous owner will find out he helped you,” Yuuri said. “But more than that he’s worried that the knowledge of your whereabouts might spread.”

“How would it?” Viktor asked, eyes cast down.

“If Eduard Volkov heard that Yakov has acquired two omegas, wouldn’t it sound suspicious?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor nodded.

“He thinks it’s better that there’s no official record of you,” Yuuri continued. “But he also worries what will happen if somehow you were found out.”

“You mean if… if _he_ finds us?” Viktor asked, scent suddenly full of distress.

“Yes,” Yuuri said. “I already suggested it to you once, but if you were officially my omega, you would be safe from being claimed by anyone else. Especially him.”

Viktor’s eyelashes were trembling as the omega thought. His scent wasn’t calming down, and Yuuri wondered if being honest had been the best plan after all. Maybe he should have tried to soften it somehow, but he didn’t know how. His parents had always been taking care of politics, so there had been no need for him to learn how to be subtler when it came to serious things.

“Yakov would also prefer I claim ownership of Yuri too,” Yuuri said, unable to bear Viktor’s silence. “He won’t consent to it, I know, but maybe with time he would see that it would be for his own good. It would protect the both of you.”

“Yuuri,” Viktor said, nearly cutting off Yuuri’s words. “If you own me, will you be able to marry me?”

Yuuri was stunned silent by the question. He wasn’t all that knowledgeable of the laws regarding omegas as spouses, so he couldn’t confidently answer the question.

“I see,” Viktor said, when Yuuri couldn’t come up with an answer. “So legally I would be your property and we would just pretend to be equal?”

“I don’t know, Viktor,” Yuuri said. “Of course I wouldn’t see it as pretence. I truly want to give you a life worth living. But from a legal standpoint, I don’t know.”

Viktor nodded and turned his head down. He still smelled distressed, and Yuuri felt awful for not knowing how to calm him. Then Viktor shuffled closer, lifted Yuuri’s arm over his waist, and Yuuri pulled him into an embrace.

“I’ll look into it,” Yuuri said. “I’ll have to go ask the town officials.”

“I don’t want them to know,” Viktor said against Yuuri’s throat.

“Then I’ll have to ask Yakov,” Yuuri said. “If he doesn’t know, there’s nothing I can do before Emil and Michele arrive.”

Viktor lifted his head up enough to see Yuuri’s face.

“They’re coming here too?” the omega asked.

“Of course,” Yuuri replied. “They’re my servants and good friends. I feel a bit lost without them.”

“It will bring more attention to us,” Viktor said and turned his head down again. “I’m not used to it.”

“I know, Viktor,” Yuuri said. “I know.”

He was stroking Viktor’s back. The omega’s scent was calming down a bit, but was still high on stress. It couldn’t have been good for the pregnancy. He wished that he knew how to make Viktor feel calm and secure, an instant cure to the omega’s unsafety, but such a thing didn’t exist. He felt his knot starting to go down. He didn’t want to be physically separated from Viktor yet. He wanted to remain connected to feel that there was something he could do, that Viktor had allowed him in.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said and turned to look at him again. “You should officially claim me.”

“What?” was the only word Yuuri was able to produce.

He was worried that Viktor might be testing him to see how far he was willing to take things, but he would have to trust the omega to respect their promise of communication and honesty. If Viktor said he wanted the official paperwork done, Viktor must have meant it for real.

But it still didn’t make sense to Yuuri. He had thought that the conversation had been over for now and they would maybe talk about it later, possibly with Yakov present. Maybe even suggest it to Yuri to get the omega started on thinking about the option of being protected by being owned.

“You should own me and Yura,” Viktor said.

“Well,” Yuuri said and swallowed, trying to quickly pull his thought together. “We’ll have to talk to Yuri about it and let him get used to the idea first.”

“No,” Viktor said to Yuuri’s surprise. “He will never say yes. You’ll have to do it in secret.”

Yuuri frowned. Viktor was staring at him almost feverishly.

“I can’t do that,” Yuuri said, suddenly timid before Viktor’s eyes. “You’re supposed to be the one who opposes any kind of secret ownerships, right?”

Viktor looked down, eyes tearing up.

“Yura will never allow it,” the omega said. “He’ll never understand that it’s for his own safety. It won’t change anything. It’s just a mark on a paper.”

Yuuri shook his head.

“I can’t believe you would suggest that,” he said. “Are you testing me, Viktor?”

Viktor looked at him with his teary eyes.

“Testing you?” he asked, clearly not following.

“Are you trying to make me say yes so you can then hate me?” Yuuri asked.

“No,” Viktor said.

His scent was getting glum, distress making Yuuri’s knot melt completely, and he felt his cock slip out of Viktor.

“Yura is my only family,” Viktor said. “I can’t leave him behind.”

“You’re not,” Yuuri tried to argue, but Viktor wouldn’t let him speak.

“If I’m your property and he’s no one’s,” the omega said, “he’ll be left behind. We will no longer be connected in a way that would protect us both. It has to be with him.”

Yuuri didn’t know what to say. He didn’t like the idea of doing something like that behind Yuri’s back, especially because the omega was already hostile towards him. Secretly acquiring him wouldn’t help the image he had of alphas.

“Why don’t we talk to Yakov first?” Yuuri suggested.

Viktor’s face dropped and the omega turned his back to Yuuri.

“I don’t want Yakov to know that I’d suggest something like that,” Viktor said.

Yuuri sighed. He turned to lie on his back and stared up to the ceiling. He had no idea what Viktor was really thinking. He hadn’t expected their relationship to be easy, but he had also not expected Viktor to show such an unexpected side of himself. He heard the omega shuffle, and wondered if Viktor was going to leave now because he had said no. He turned to look, and found Viktor watching him. The tears were gone, but his scent remained heavy and sad.

“At least you’ll have to claim me,” Viktor said. “Today.”

“Are you sure?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor nodded.

“I need to be yours entirely,” the omega said.

Yuuri frowned, but Viktor placed a hand on his lower stomach, fingers finding his spent cock and stroking it. His frown turned questioning, but Viktor turned to look at what he was doing, head leaning on his free hand. Yuuri wanted to ask questions, but the look on Viktor’s face kept him quiet. He wasn’t sure what it was, something of concentration and deep thought, something of need and willingness. Viktor’s scent was surrounding them, strong like it had always been, but now it was asking for something, it wasn’t sad. It wanted an alpha, Yuuri realised, and swallowed.

Viktor’s pheromones were affecting his cock, and Viktor had quickly gotten it up, even after so little rest. Without a word Viktor sat up, straddled Yuuri’s hips, and guided the cock to his entrance.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said, but the omega shook his head.

Yuuri watched how Viktor closed his eyes and bit his lip as the tip of his cock slipped inside the wet hole. Viktor moaned quietly, hips sinking lower, too fast, and Yuuri was worried it would hurt. He took a hold of Viktor’s hips, trying to stop the omega from going too fast, but Viktor wouldn’t stop before he was sitting flush on Yuuri’s hips.

Then he opened his eyes and looked down at Yuuri.

“I need more,” Viktor said, voice breathy, and rolled his hips.

Yuuri moaned. Viktor’s insides were wet and tight, and the omega continued moving, soft rolls that moved Yuuri’s cock inside him. Yuuri was holding onto his hips but didn’t try to guide their movements. Viktor’s cock was hard and leaking pre-come that quickly pooled in Yuuri’s navel. Viktor’s whines and moans were getting louder, the movements of his hips a bit more erratic, and before Yuuri could do anything, Viktor’s ass clenched down on his cock and the omega came with weak spurts of semen.

“Yuuri,” the omega cried out.

He slumped forward, hands taking a hold of Yuuri’s chest, hips still moving. Yuuri smelled how much Viktor still wanted, so he started moving his hips too, thrusting up as much as he could. Viktor was bouncing on his lap, the omega’s small cock leaking continuously, and Yuuri fucked into him until Viktor’s fourth orgasm made him come too, knot pushed deep inside his omega. Viktor lifted a hand to his own cock, but Yuuri pushed it away, taking a hold of the wet length and stroking it until Viktor cried out, loud and broken, and lay down over him.

Viktor wasn’t heavy, and it saddened Yuuri. Viktor should have been much heavier to be healthy. Viktor was warm, however, their bodies sticky with the omega’s release, and Yuuri hugged him close. Viktor nuzzled his face against Yuuri’s neck and eventually fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I finally managed to finish this chapter! I don't even know what took me so long exactly, I just... I somehow lost the drive to write this fic, which is odd because I seriously want to finish. Anyway, now that I got started again, I've been writing better, and hopefully it won't take me so awfully long to get the next chapter out.
> 
> Also ugh I'm not exactly happy with my writing in this chapter but whatever, it's done time to move on. Thank you all for your patience!


	5. Chapter 5

Viktor wasn’t sure what was going on, and it bothered him. It was strange, and he had no one to ask, because he didn’t want to discuss such a private matter with Yakov. After waking up from a sleeping Yuuri’s hold, he had followed the alpha around all day. They had gone to the registry to file the necessary paperwork for Yuuri’s ownership of him, and he had listened to Yuuri explain how the ownership was official down south and he merely wanted to make sure the records were up to date here as well. Hearing Yuuri lie so smoothly was interesting, and not only in a good way. It gave him an image of Yuuri as something more than the well-intending alpha who was willing to throw out his life of luxury to move north and have a baby with Viktor. It made it possible that Yuuri could be lying about many things and he wouldn’t know before it was too late.

Yuuri had gone around hiring people to build him a house, and Viktor had sat quietly in those meetings, holding Yuuri’s hand and acting exactly like a domesticated show omega would. He found it disturbing how easily he fell into that role, how it didn’t bother him at all for as long as Yuuri was there with him, holding his hand and squeezing it every now and then to recognise his presence. He had never liked being shown around town in his fancy clothes and neatly combed hair, he had always been exhausted after any outings because of how much he needed to remind himself of staying beautiful and standing upright, don’t drag your feet, stay by your master’s side at all times, the left side in particular, and he was being yanked around like a dog on a leash that was too tight around its neck, and he was suffocating, suffocating.

The difference lay in the way Yuuri didn’t take him out to show him off to people. Yuuri held his hand like a lover, and his clothes weren’t specifically bought to impress neighbours, his hair hadn’t been combed. He was nothing fancy, yet Yuuri didn’t mind people seeing them together like that, the imperfect omega with his perfect alpha, whose undershirt cost more than Viktor’s entire outfit. At times Yuuri asked him things, talked to him like his opinion really mattered, and Yuuri listened, took his words into consideration and adjusted his own opinions accordingly.

He had spent the entire day with Yuuri, his Yuuri, yet he couldn’t get enough. He found himself wishing that they could return to the guesthouse, so he could have Yuuri inside him, Yuuri’s cock pounding into him and his knot binding them together. He wanted to rub his body over Yuuri’s, he wanted to bend over so that Yuuri could see how wet he was just for him, and he wanted to be taken, he wanted to take, he wanted it so much he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Yuuri must have smelled it on him, because after a few hours he was starting to get distracted from the house plans, forgetting what he was about to say, fidgeting on his seat. They went to eat at the best restaurant, and they sat side by side because neither could move away from the other. Viktor found himself leaning closer, their arms were rubbing together as they ate, and Yuuri was eating slowly, forgetting to chew at times, then snapping out of it and acting normal for a little while.

Viktor had never been so in need of sex, and he had no idea why it was happening now.

He had learned to fear sexual urges, because they were always inconveniently timed, and sometimes the master would beat him if he touched himself in secret. He was fairly certain that Yuuri would handle it differently, but he didn’t want to ask to appear bothersome. He wanted to place his hand on Yuuri’s thigh and rub towards his cock, he wanted to touch Yuuri’s cock and feel it grow hard for him.

“What would you like to do next?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor blinked and turned to look at him. They had finished their lunch, and Yuuri was now watching him. His cheeks were burning, and he wondered if Yuuri could tell what he had just been imagining.

“I need to talk to Yakov today,” Yuuri said when Viktor remained quiet, “but before that we could do something fun. Just you and me.”

Viktor swallowed. Yuuri had told him numerous times that he was allowed to want things. He was allowed to ask for thing. But actually doing it was hard. It made him nervous. It made his heart beat too fast and hands get sweaty, a chill in his spine as he thought about the times he had asked for something and received a punishment in return.

“What do you want?” Yuuri asked again, eyes clear and eager.

Viktor felt his lips tremble. He leaned forward, closer to Yuuri’s ear. Maybe saying it quietly wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe that way he could pretend that he didn’t ask for anything for himself.

“I want you to fuck me,” he whispered, then backed away to stare at Yuuri in horror.

The words had left his mouth, he knew, and he wanted to take them back. Not because he didn’t mean it, but because they had turned Yuuri’s face into that of surprise and disbelief, and he was afraid that what he had said had been wrong.

“Do…” Yuuri started to say, then cleared his throat. “Are you sure?”

Viktor’s heart was heavy in his chest when he nodded.

With that, Yuuri stood up so quickly that the table rattled, and pulled Viktor behind him.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Yuuri said, and pulled Viktor behind him to the door.

Viktor hardly registered how Yuuri said his thanks to the restaurant owner, how they walked over to the guesthouse that wasn’t far away, how Otabek was trailing behind them looking just as emotionless as he had looked all day. What Viktor paid attention to was Yuuri’s hand in his, Yuuri’s warm hand that was squeezing his a bit too hard, pulling him a bit too fast as they strode towards the guesthouse, up the stairs, stopped to the door as Yuuri fumbled with his key.

Otabek took the key from Yuuri’s trembling hand and unlocked the door, peeked inside like he was supposed to do, and then gestured that it was safe to enter. Yuuri mumbled a thank-you to Otabek, who backed away and closed the door.

The moment the door was shut, maybe even before that, Yuuri had pulled Viktor into his arms, embracing him tightly, lips over his, tongue in his mouth, and he felt the wall behind his back, how Yuuri was pressing him against it, body flush against his own, and he could feel how hard Yuuri was already, how impatient his hands as they roamed over their bodies, trying to get rid of all clothing as quickly as possible.

With a grunt of impatience, Yuuri pulled away from the kiss to look down, opened Viktor’s pants and then his own, twirled Viktor around to face the wall. Viktor leaned against the solid wood, hands flat by his shoulders, and pushed his ass behind for Yuuri. He heard the soft swish of fabric and Yuuri’s cock was pressed against his wet entrance, so big and hot, so perfect, and Viktor moaned before Yuuri could even push inside. He rested his cheek against the wall, noticing how hot his face was, how cold the wall in contrast, and Yuuri’s fingers squeezed his ass.

Yuuri’s movements were hurried and rough, and Viktor arched his back, pushing into the thrusts that rocked his body. He felt good in a way he was not used to feeling. He didn’t know what it was exactly, but he had never imagined that he could feel so good while having sex for the second time in the same day. He wondered if he had accumulated this need while they were apart, during the months when Yuuri was far away from him and he couldn’t sleep knowing that each day Yuuri’s scent was fading from the shirt he had brought with him.

Wet lips pressed against the fresh mark on his neck, and he whimpered, the wound still too raw, and he heard Yuuri’s breathy apology, whispered words between groans of pleasure, and Viktor felt like his body was full, his soul was full, he was a full person rather than the fragment he had been before, and he felt how sunlight filled the room where Yuuri made love to him against a wall, most of their clothes still on, and he smiled.

The first heat of the moment was gone, and Viktor started undressing. He wanted – no, he needed to feel Yuuri’s skin against his own, he needed to feel another body next to himself, because finally he wasn’t alone, and he tossed his shirts to the floor.

Yuuri pulled out, and he whined, then gasped in fear that Yuuri had gotten too much. He turned his head to see that Yuuri was struggling with his clothes.

“Get on the bed, Viktor,” Yuuri said as he pulled his shirt over his head. “It’s better on the bed.”

Yuuri’s face was flushed, and Viktor pulled himself off the wall to stagger towards the bed, almost tripping onto his own pants that were still around his ankles. He lay down on the freshly made bed, pristine beddings that now crinkled under his body, and he spread his legs before Yuuri was even close to getting in bed. Cool air made his hole twitch, his slick wet all over his cheeks and the top of his thighs, but what he noticed the most was how he felt safe. He wasn’t in the right position to offer himself to his alpha, he was lying in a position that felt comfortable, yet he didn’t fear that Yuuri would reprimand him. He had his legs spread open in front of an alpha, yet he didn’t worry that Yuuri would hurt him. For the first time in his life he felt like an alpha wasn’t demanding him to act in any certain way for sex, and it baffled him.

Was this what it felt like to have a caring alpha?

Was this what it felt like to be a person rather than an omega?

Yuuri crawled into bed, between Viktor’s legs, and smiled, almost nervous, but full of love.

“You’re so beautiful, Viktor,” Yuuri said. “You smell so good.”

Yuuri pressed a palm onto Viktor’s stomach.

“You’re carrying my child,” Yuuri whispered, almost to himself, and maybe it was meant for him.

Viktor’s heart skipped a beat thinking that he was really pregnant with Yuuri’s child. He had never seen pregnancy as something desirable, even more so after he had first gotten pregnant, but the way Yuuri looked at him with soft admiration, looked at his tummy in awe made Viktor feel like it was going to be fine, he was fine, and he would give birth to a child who would be loved.

“I want you so bad,” Yuuri said, having now turned to look at Viktor’s face. “Can I have you?”

“I want you too,” Viktor said, quiet words, but he could see the impact they had on Yuuri.

With soft hands Yuuri spread his legs a bit more, then pressed his cock against his wet entrance and pushed inside. His pace was slower, hips moving softly, and Viktor felt like he had gotten exactly what he had wanted: Yuuri lying on top of him, gently swaying into him and kissing his shoulders, his neck, his lips. He held on to Yuuri’s body that had lost some of its softness during the time they were apart, and he came with a high-pitched whine, Yuuri rocking into him as he felt like his belly was filled with warm pleasure, the waves of it rippling throughout his body, and he was sure that it was the best he had ever felt.

“I love you,” Yuuri whispered into his ear when his knot was keeping them together. “I love you so much, Viktor.”

Viktor couldn’t bring himself to say anything, so he smiled, but Yuuri seemed just as pleased with that as with any response.

*

“Why am I so horny?” Viktor had asked after they had gotten up and were getting freshened up to go out again.

“I read that it happens during pregnancy,” Yuuri had said.

Viktor was still thinking about it, sitting in Yakov’s hut with Yuri glaring at Yuuri. He was sitting next to Yuuri, holding Yuuri’s hand, and he could still feel the scowl Yuri had aimed at him when they had arrived like that. He wondered if this need for Yuuri’s closeness was also because of his pregnancy.

He felt stupid for not having looked up anything to do with his sate. Even Yuuri, who had previously been only barely knowledgeable of things to do with omegas, knew more. He decided to ask Yakov after he and Yuuri were done talking about the house plans.

There was a pull on his shirt, and he turned to look at Yuri who was nodding towards their shared bedroom. Reluctantly Viktor let go of Yuuri’s hand to follow Yuri, who stomped away without a glance towards Yuuri.

“You’re acting gross,” Yuri said the moment the door closed behind Viktor. “How can you let him keep you like a dog on a leash?”

Viktor blinked in surprise.

“It’s not like that,” he said. “I just want to be close to him.”

“You want to be close to him,” Yuri said, mocking Viktor’s voice. “He’s manipulating you somehow, and you’re too blind to see it!”

“That’s not true,” Viktor said, although Yuri’s words hit the sore spot inside him that was still uncertain of Yuuri’s true motives. “He’s my alpha now. He’s my mate.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Yuri said, gesturing to the fresh mark on Viktor’s neck. “How can you let him defile you like that? Don’t you have any self-respect left?”

“I love him,” Viktor insisted, trying to block out all the horrible emotions Yuri’s words were raising in him. “He’s going to marry me, and I’ll be officially equal to him.”

“That’s not even possible!” Yuri shouted. “He’s fucked up your head, Viktor! Why can’t you see that? You’ve been acting stupid ever since he made you his bitch.”

Viktor gasped.

“I’m not his bitch,” he said. “I’m his fiancé.”

“You can go ahead and believe that all you want,” Yuri said with a hostile frown, “but it’s not going to happen. He’s simply trying everything he can to make you lower your defences and boom! The moment he officially owns you, he’ll turn, you’ll see.”

“No, I won’t see,” Viktor said, “because he already owns me. We got the paperwork done today.”

All colour drained from Yuri’s face and he took a step back.

“You’re lying,” Yuri said.

“It’s the truth,” Viktor said. “And you should let him own you too. That way you would finally be safe.”

Yuri stepped forward and slapped him onto the cheek before he had properly finished speaking. There wasn’t much strength behind the slap, but the slapping of skin echoed in Viktor’s ears as he stared at the boy standing before him, short but furious.

“Don’t you dare try to trap me like you’ve been trapped,” Yuri said.

Yuri’s eyes were focused on Viktor’s cheek that was now stinging.

“It’s not a trap,” Viktor said weakly.

“I don’t want to see you like this,” Yuri said, still staring at the cheek he had slapped. “Don’t come back before you’ve come back to your senses.”

With that the boy turned around and climbed into the nest, back turned to Viktor. Viktor stood there, staring at the nest where he wasn’t allowed anymore, staring at the back of his brother, the only person he had called family after Yakov. His Yuratchka had turned his back to him, and suddenly Viktor felt like in the end he would still have to choose between his family and the love of his life.

Holding back tears Viktor turned around and left the room, closing the door quietly. He went back to Yuuri and Yakov, who were still talking about building. Yuuri turned to look at him when he sat down, but he didn’t meet the gaze. He sat there, feeling numb, cheek still aching, but not as much as his heart. He had known that Yuri would have a hard time understanding him, it had been obvious ever since he first met Yuuri, but he hadn’t imagined that it could drive them apart like this. He had hoped that Yuri would see it from his point of view, listen to him and accept that he had made a decision that he believed would improve his life. Right now, it seemed that Yuri would never let Yuuri to become a part of their family, and if Viktor wanted to be with him, he would have to leave Yuri behind.

He didn’t want to do that. It pained him to think that he might have to live the rest of his life without Yuri’s presence, without the feeling of connection between them. He thought about the day when he had found out about his pregnancy, and how furious Yuri had been. Yuri had said some things that were hurtful, but had also quickly changed his mind, given him a reluctant but warm hug, and told him that he wouldn’t be alone with the baby. In fact, he had started to see a shine in Yuri’s eyes when they talked about the future baby, even though Yuri did also often point out that he hoped it wouldn’t resemble “the pig” who had conceived it.

Yuri had been his little brother for so many years he couldn’t remember life without him. Yuri had been his only peer, the only one who had lived with the same alpha he had, the only one who personally understood the difficulties he now faced having escaped yet being still mentally tied to the man who they both used to call their master. Yuri was the sibling he had always needed, the only one he had ever wanted to protect, even if it meant that he might lose his own life.

But now he didn’t have Yuri. The young boy had grown into a young man, whose bite was serious and painful.

Viktor stood up abruptly and stormed out, the backdoor slamming too loudly as he heard Yuuri call his name. He was breathing hard, tears already blinding him. He turned towards the bench where he usually sat but found Otabek sitting on it.

“Do you need something?” the alpha asked.

His scent scared Viktor. It was calm, relatively disinterested, but it was clearly alpha. It was the scent of a predator who wanted to catch him, and he would have to hide, he was out in the open. He had to hide before he would get caught.

“Don’t be afraid,” the guard said and stood up.

Viktor took a step back, hot tears streaming down his face and lips trembling as he tried to quickly come up with a way to get away from the alpha who was dressed in black and looking at him with his sharp cold eyes.

The door opened, and Yuuri stood there.

“Yuuri!” Viktor yelped and hurried to the man, who greeted him with open arms.

“What’s wrong, Viktor?” Yuuri asked, stroking his hair as he pressed his face against the crook of his mate’s neck.

“I think I startled him,” Otabek said, making Viktor shiver.

“Oh,” Yuuri replied. “That’s unfortunate, but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. We need to make sure that you and Viktor spend enough time together, so he will learn to trust you more.”

Viktor was holding onto his Yuuri like he might drown. He didn’t mind Yuuri speaking about him like he wasn’t there. He didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be hidden. Yuuri’s scent was starting to calm him down, but he could still sense the strange alpha close by.

“I will do my best,” Otabek said.

“Maybe you can ask Yakov for advice,” Yuuri suggested. “He’s known Viktor for years and might now how to best deal with this.”

The guard didn’t answer, but Viktor could imagine him nodding. The scent strengthened, Viktor pressed closer to Yuuri, held him tighter. Then the door closed and Otabek was gone.

“What happened, Viktor?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor shook his head against Yuuri’s neck. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted to simply be held, he wanted to feel like he was still important and mattered. He needed to know that he hadn’t given up his freedom, that he hadn’t been made somebody’s bitch, that he was still Viktor.

“Did Otabek scare you?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor shook his head again, but this time with less conviction. Otabek had, after all, startled him, although not on purpose. It was his own fault that he couldn’t deal with alphas, even knowing that he was now claimed and would be safe from the kind of assault that threatened unclaimed omegas.

“What’s going on?” Yuuri asked, sounding more concerned, smelling concerned too. “Why are you crying?”

Viktor had been able to contain the sobs that wanted to get out, and he had hoped that Yuuri might not have noticed how emotional he was. He hadn’t been able to hide his feelings. He wasn’t sure why he thought he could; after all, Yuuri was his bonded alpha and could smell him, Yuuri could smell his feelings of distress and sadness just as well as he could smell Yuuri’s worry over him.

Yuuri guided him to the bench where he had wanted to sit down all along. Viktor backed away just a little bit, face still close to Yuuri’s scent gland, but far enough from his neck that he could talk.

“Yura hates me,” he managed, before the sobs that had been trying to push out finally took over.

“He doesn’t,” Yuuri said, stroking Viktor’s back. “Did he say something?”

Viktor nodded, but couldn’t speak. He was crying aloud now, the knowledge of Yuri’s anger hitting him harder after being startled by Otabek. His own brother had just abandoned him. Yet Yuuri’s scent was starting to have an effect, making him feel like he wasn’t alone, like everything would work out. That at least he would always have his alpha by his side. His loudest sobs started to settle down, leaving him tired and shivering. Yuuri kissed the top of his head and stroked his wet cheek.

“I’m sure that whatever it is, Yuri will eventually calm down,” Yuuri said.

Viktor liked the way Yuuri’s voice sounded when he had an ear pressed on his shoulder. He would be happy for as long as he could be with Yuuri.

“I can’t stay here,” Viktor said, voice stuffy.

“Do you want to come and stay in the guesthouse with me?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor nodded. Yuuri gave him a warm hug before backing away, forcing him to lift his head up and look at his mate.

“I’ll go tell Yakov,” Yuuri said. “We can go now. I think you need some rest.”

Viktor nodded again, watched how Yuuri went inside, then turned to face the forest, leaning against the warm wall of Yakov’s house that had been his home for the past couple of months. It couldn’t be his home anymore, not when Yuri couldn’t stand the sight of him. Their nest was now Yuri’s alone. He had made his decision to stay with Yuuri, and he would have to stick by it. He had no choice.

What a scary thought it was. He knew that Yakov would never leave him on his own, but there was no way they could ever have a home together for as long as Yuri hated him. It was better to start making a life with Yuuri, stop being such a burden on both Yakov and Yuri.

He thought about the paperwork they had taken care of earlier. Yuuri owned him. He lifted his fingers onto the healed mark on his neck, then gently traced the fresh mark that still stung. He was now someone’s property in a more complete way. He was a pet again. Yuuri would want to get him the best clothes he could find, Yuuri would want to make sure that his hair always looked neat. Yuuri would make sure that he was always presentable.

Wasn’t that a part of what he had hated in his life as an omega?

But Yuuri was different. Yuuri asked him for an opinion. Yuuri was considerate of his feelings, wasn’t he?

However, now that he was legally Yuuri’s property, things might change. Maybe Yuuri would finally drop all the pretence and show his true colours. He might end up being cruel. Maybe one day Yuuri would insist that Viktor start calling him master, because that’s what he now was.

He had forgotten to be careful. He had given in on his instincts of needing an owner, someone to be above him, someone to hold him and protect him now that he was pregnant, and because of that he was someone’s property again. Yuuri hadn’t even paid to own him. Yuuri had simply picked him up from the street like an abandoned puppy, put a collar on him, and then made sure to never let him go again.

Now that he had been marked it would be easy for him to stay on his own. He wouldn’t alert the authorities because he looked like he belonged to someone. If he maintained even the slightest semblance of grooming, he could go anywhere, be anyone, and no one would look at him twice.

He stood up, glanced at the door. It was quiet. He took a tentative step towards the forest, then another, another, and he ran, sprinted to the trees as fast as he could, didn’t stop before he was far enough to be out of sight. He turned to look back. He could still see the outlines of Yakov’s house, so he started walking, he needed to be farther away, so he wouldn’t be seen. He needed to go far so he wouldn’t be found.

His eyes were swollen and eyelids heavy. He rubbed his face, tearstained cheeks feeling sticky under his hands. His footsteps were determined and fast. He needed to get away. Once he found the next town, he would go around it, so nobody could see, he would remain invisible until he was a few towns over. Then he would find someone to… to…

He lifted a hand to his tummy. He couldn’t feel it, but he knew he was carrying a baby. He could feel the changes in his body, but he couldn’t feel his baby.

No, it wasn’t a baby yet. It was nothing yet. And it never would be, because he would find someone to take care of it. He couldn’t be free if he had to carry a baby around. It would draw too much attention to him, not to mention it might kill him. Childbirth. He might die in the woods, all alone, and in the worst case the baby would survive and lie there next to him, and no one might find them for weeks. And what if his baby was an omega? Babies born to omegas had a higher chance of being omega themselves. He couldn’t bring an omega child into this world, knowing how omegas were treated. Who knows, maybe Yuuri would want to sell the child to someone, or maybe give it away to the prince or someone else. No, it was better to never have a child.

He was never supposed to get pregnant in the first place. The first time had been miserable, this time not much better. He may have thought that it would be fine, and that he could become a mother with Yakov and Yuri helping him, standing by his side, Yuri playing with his baby. But Yuuri’s arrival changed everything. Yuuri changed everything, including Viktor. He didn’t like how he wanted to give himself to an alpha so easily, how openly he would flaunt his body, how much he needed to feel the stretch of an alpha cock inside him, filling him with more seed. He hated how the idea of being fertile made his heart swell with pride and joy.

He hated it.

Viktor never wanted to be an omega.

He never wanted to be anyone’s property. He only wanted to be a person worthy of some dignity, love.

Tears were blurring his vision, but he angrily blinked them away. He didn’t have time to cry now. He needed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so preoccupied with other stuff that I couldn't find the motivation to edit this chapter, but now I'm supposed to be writing something else so it was the perfect time to finally get this chapter presentable.
> 
> I already have the next chapter written, but not edited, so hopefully it won't take me quite as long with that.


	6. Chapter 6

It felt bad to leave Viktor alone when the omega was so sad, but Yuuri couldn’t exactly leave Yakov without an explanation. He was also sure that Yakov could talk some sense into Yuri, so letting him know about the situation immediately was a good idea. Not to mention he needed Otabek to come with him and Viktor.

“Viktor will be staying with me for a while,” Yuuri said, then proceeded to explain what had happened.

“I thought Yura might react that way,” Yakov said. “I’ll talk to him. It will take time, but I know that eventually he will accept you. You’re a good man, Yuuri.”

Yakov’s kind words made Yuuri’s face heat up, and he bowed down deeply with words of gratitude.

“I’m overjoyed to know that Viktor has had such a caring person in his life,” Yuuri said.

Yakov seemed delighted by his words, and Yuuri felt like he had been accepted to be Viktor’s mate. He hadn’t expected to feel like he needed the acceptance of anyone other than Viktor, but after having seen how much Yakov resembled a father to Viktor, he had found it important to also let the older man know that his intentions were good.

“Otabek,” he said after he and Yakov had exchanged enough pleasantries to feel like they had said enough. “Did you get any advice?”

The alpha nodded.

“I told him it’s important that Viktor spends a lot of time with him,” Yakov said. “It’s also important to act calm around him, even if he gets agitated. I’m sure Viktor will eventually get used to being around alphas again.”

“I hope so,” Yuuri said, thinking about how difficult it would be to let go of his bodyguard.

“It helps that he has been claimed properly,” Yakov said. “Carrying a mark on both sides of his neck establishes strong ownership, so other alphas should not pose a threat.”

Yuuri wanted to ask more, he wanted to learn everything he possibly could about Viktor and how to best help the omega, but he also knew that for now the best thing to do was to stay by his side and continue being calm. With a polite goodbye he stepped out to the backyard, only to find the bench there empty.

“Viktor?” he called but got no answer.

He walked around the house, but there was no sign of the omega. He hurried back inside to ask if Viktor had gone there, but Yakov was just as surprised as he was. Yakov went to check the two omegas’ room, but Yuri was alone in the nest. Yuuri couldn’t think of anything that might have caused the disappearance, he was pacing back and forth in the small room, and all the while Otabek stood by the doorway, waiting.

“Could he have gone to the guesthouse?” Yakov suggested, but Yuuri didn’t feel like that was the answer.

“Why wouldn’t he have waited?” he asked, worrying his lip with his teeth. “He was so upset. I shouldn’t have left him alone.”

“Katsuki-sama,” Otabek said, voice low and calm.

“I’ve told you not to call me that,” Yuuri said and turned to look at his bodyguard.

“I know how to track scents,” Otabek simply replied.

Yuuri froze, blinked rapidly a few times, then strode forward and took a hold of Otabek’s shoulders.

“You can track?” he asked, completely in awe over the talent only mastered by a few alphas.

Otabek nodded in response.

“I’ll need something with his scent on it,” the alpha said.

“I’ll get something from the nest,” Yakov said and hurried off.

Yuuri let go of Otabek’s shoulders.

“Do you think he went to the guesthouse?” he asked quietly.

Otabek shook his head.

“The initial scent track suggests he went to the forest,” he said, then added, “I got a hint of his scent from you.”

Yuuri nodded.

“You’ll have to find him,” he said. “What if he gets hurt?”

“I will find him,” Otabek said.

His tone of voice didn’t change, but Yuuri got the feeling that the alpha was trying to comfort him. Yakov appeared with a pillow, followed by Yuri who was frowning deeply, but this time the look wasn’t aimed at Yuuri. Otabek took the pillow and sniffed at it, eyes narrowing as he sniffed it again. He removed the pillowcase and folded it before tucking it in a pocket.

“I’ll take this in case,” he said, then turned towards the forest.

“I should know how to find him,” Yuuri said, tears making their way into his eyes. “He’s my mate. Why can’t I track his scent?”

Otabek turned to him.

“I should take something with your scent too,” he said. “In case he gets frightened.”

“I’m going with you,” Yuuri said.

“In case I get there faster,” Otabek said.

Yuuri hesitated for a moment, then pulled off his shirt to reveal his undershirt. Right now, he was glad that he hadn’t changed to a clean one after he and Viktor had had sex with their clothes on. He quickly stripped out of the undershirt, then handed it to Otabek, who carefully folded it and stuffed it away. Yuuri was still pulling on his over shirt but started heading towards the forest as well.

“We need to hurry,” he said. “It will get cold soon.”

Otabek was right behind him, sniffing the air, correcting their path just a bit. Right before they got to the trees, running steps came from behind them.

“I’m coming too,” Yuri said, stopping beside Yuuri.

“Yes,” Yuuri said and nodded.

There was no point arguing with someone with such a determined expression, and there wasn’t time for it. Otabek disappeared between the trees, and he followed, Yuri’s light footsteps somewhere close to him, but he was more focused on Otabek’s back before him. The alpha was moving fast, his walk turning into a run so gradually that Yuuri couldn’t tell when it happened, but he suddenly found himself trying to keep up with Otabek’s pace. Yuri had gone past him at some point, proving to him yet again that he should have put more effort into his physical fitness. The omega moved fast, but Otabek soon turned back to the trees and off the trail they had been following and disappeared quickly.

“Where did he go?” Yuuri asked himself, stopping to listen.

“That way,” Yuri said and pointed towards the sound of footsteps that were quickly distancing from them.

They followed, but Yuuri found it hard to run with roots protruding from the ground in odd places and tree branches hanging low. He tripped and fell down, always getting back up, the knees of his trousers quickly wearing out, and eventually he had to stop too. He could hardly see Yuri any longer, the omega’s bright blond hair having been like a light to follow, but he could no more. He was walking forward, as fast as he could, but his feet were aching and his legs were tired. He stubbed his toe on a root and cursed, pushed branches out of his way to see where Yuri went, but couldn’t see the omega, could hardly hear the soft footsteps that might as well have belonged to an animal. He stepped into a hole and fell onto his stomach, hitting his chin onto a tree that was too close to his face, but he didn’t have the energy to get up again.

It was quiet. The earth smelled moist and friendly. It was getting dark. Yuuri had no idea where he was, where Viktor was in relation to him. Where had Viktor gone? Why had Viktor left?

He thought about the conversation with Viktor. Not much had been said because the omega was crying, but he knew that Viktor was sad about Yuri. It must have felt awful to feel that he was no longer welcome to stay with the people that had been his only family for so many years. Viktor saw Yuri as his younger brother and it had been obvious since the start that the two omegas were close. Viktor had gone through a lot to make sure Yuri stayed safe, yet now he had been rejected by the one person he loved so deeply.

Yuuri wanted to think that he understood what it felt like, after what he had gone through with his parents. They were both so stubbornly trying to make his life better that they had pushed him away, although leaving had been his own decision. However, after they had destroyed Viktor’s nest how could he have stayed?

No, he shouldn’t be thinking about himself. Yuuri shook his head and wondered what had made Viktor go. Otabek had startled him just by being there. Viktor’s fear of alphas must have been worse than Yuuri had imagined. It was impossible for him to understand it. He had thought that maybe it could be somewhat related to the fear he felt when he was around unclaimed omegas, but he was afraid of hurting someone. Viktor was afraid of being hurt.

Tears were streaming from his closed eyes as he lay on the ground thinking about Viktor and how much the omega hurt. How could he ever be enough to help? He hadn’t been able to make Viktor happy enough to want to stay. Should he even be chasing after the omega? If Viktor wanted to go, shouldn’t he let it happen?

There was a pain in him that he couldn’t describe, the same feeling it had been after Viktor had left with Yakov and Yuri. It was the feeling of emptiness, he was incomplete, and he knew that he could never get rid of the feeling if Viktor was gone.

How selfish of him.

“Viktor,” he cried out.

He couldn’t live without Viktor. It felt stupid. All his life he had stayed distant from many people, Phichit being the only person he would call a true friend, but existing without Phichit was still an option. He was doing fine without his best friend. If somebody were to tell him that he could never see Phichit again, it would make him sad, but it would not tear him apart.

Even the thought of never seeing Viktor again made him feel powerless.

The people writing books about omegas and how they were naturally submissive after being bound to their alphas must have never experienced a bond themselves. For the first time Yuuri felt how the bond between him and Viktor was also binding him to the omega, not only the other way around. As much as a part of him was in Viktor, a part of Viktor was in him, and it was crushing him now that Viktor was gone.

“What the hell are you doing?” someone asked above him and softly kicked his shoulder.

Yuuri hadn’t realised how loudly he was sobbing. He tried to calm down, took in deep breaths, but Viktor’s absence was still weighing him down.

“Get up,” the voice above him commanded, giving him a sharper kick on the shoulder.

Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to move. There was a deep sigh.

“For fuck’s sake,” the voice said.

A strong grip pressed on Yuuri’s arms and rolled him onto his side. Yuri was frowning at him. The omega had lichen stuck in his hair and a stripe of dirt over his forehead.

“What’s wrong with you?” Yuri asked, voice void of concern.

“Where’s Viktor?” Yuuri asked frantically.

He needed to know, he needed Viktor. He reached out to Yuri, but the omega backed away, so he let his arm fall down, heavy like lead.

“I don’t know,” Yuri said, sounding angry and frustrated. “Your stupid guard ran too fast and I couldn’t hear him from your wailing.”

Yuuri’s heart sank. He had hoped that Yuri had kept up with Otabek. Tears filled his eyes anew and his lips were trembling. Maybe Otabek wouldn’t find Viktor at all. Maybe Viktor would put on a collar to hide his scent. Maybe something bad had already happened and Viktor’s scent would disappear, leaving Otabek without a clue.

“Stop whining and get up,” Yuri said.

“I can’t,” Yuuri managed to blubber between sobs.

“Stop being so pathetic,” Yuri snapped. “No wonder Viktor thinks you’re harmless if you’re always this weak.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri repeated.

The omega’s name pierced him like a dagger, and he lifted his hands onto his chest, suddenly certain that he was bleeding to death. Yuri rolled his eyes and sat on the ground, leaning against a tree.

“I always knew bonds were bullshit,” the omega said, spitting out the words like they tasted foul. “If they were real you could find him with your bond. Well, you’re not finding him, are you?”

“My bond?” Yuuri asked and blinked, eyelashes heavy with tears. “I can find him with our bond?”

Yuri sniffed in distaste.

“I just said it’s bullshit,” he said.

“If it hurts this much when he’s far away,” Yuuri said, not paying attention to Yuri’s scowls, “then maybe it will hurt less when he’s closer.”

This thought gave him enough motivation to start getting up. However, he quickly found that motivation was not enough. His arms trembled as he tried to push himself up, and he fell back to the ground. He tried to punch the ground with a fist in frustration but could only manage a soft thud.

“Wait,” Yuri said and stood up, peering down at Yuuri. “You’re not just being dramatic? You really can’t get up?”

Yuuri didn’t say anything. His lips were feeling too heavy and the thought of moving his jaw sounded like too much effort. Instead he tried pushing himself up again, this time managing even less.

“What’s wrong with you?” Yuri asked, this time less angry.

Yuuri managed a shrug. He turned his face against the soft moss.

“I swear,” Yuri said, “if you’re playing me, I’m going to kill you with my bare hands and tell Viktor you ran away.”

Yuuri had hardly enough time to process the words before strong hands took a hold of his arm and started pulling him up. He did his best to help but was too weak to make much of a difference. With incredible effort Yuri managed to get him into a sitting position and propped him against a tree.

“I’ve never seen an alpha so weak,” Yuri said, but he didn’t sound nasty.

It was more of surprise, and the feeling reflected in the omega’s eyes. Yuuri merely stared at him dumbly.

“What happened to your chin?” Yuri asked, a flash of a worried frown on his face before he scowled again. “Your shirt collar is all bloody.

Yuuri tried to see, but even though he managed to turn his head down, he couldn’t see any blood on his shirt.

“And you think this is because you’re not with Viktor?” Yuri asked, gesturing to Yuuri’s body.

Yuuri tried to nod but couldn’t really get his head moving. Yuri burst to laughter.

“That’s stupid!” the omega laughed. “If that was true, how did you ever get here to be with him? How come he had the strength to run away?”

The omega didn’t wait for a response but took a hold of Yuuri again. He wrapped one of Yuuri’s arms around his neck and managed to pull him upright.

“Let’s go back home,” Yuri said and turned towards where they had come from. “Your guard will bring Viktor back.”

“No,” Yuuri said in horror, the thought of going away from Viktor chilling him to the core.

Yuri only managed a grunt of annoyance before Yuuri had flung back to where he had seen the omega disappear before, bringing them both out of balance. Yuri managed to keep them up by grapping on to a tree, then turned to look at him with an angry face.

“You shouldn’t have come here at all!” he yelled. “You’ve ruined Viktor’s life! He was just fine with Yakov and me. You made him miserable.”

Yuuri couldn’t hold in the sob that came out. His legs were feeling like jelly, and Yuri was having a hard time keeping him from falling. He was holding onto his shirt over his heart, pulling on the fabric like it might alleviate the pain in him.

“I just want him to be happy,” he squeaked.

“Then leave him alone!” Yuri said point blank.

“I need to make sure he’s not hurt,” Yuuri argued and tried to take a step forward.

With an overly dramatic sigh Yuri let go of the tree and took a step forward, dragging Yuuri behind.

“If you fall I’m not picking you up again,” the omega grumbled. “I’ll just drag you on the ground.”

“Fine,” Yuuri said, then focused the rest of his energy into taking another step right after the first one.

They struggled onwards, Yuuri losing his footing a few times, but Yuri pulled him back up before he was fully down. It felt like hours had passed when they finally got to a spot where Yuri stopped.

“This is where I lost track of him,” Yuri said.

Yuuri’s legs were shaking badly, but he felt like they could support him better. He looked around, feeling lost and helpless. Trees surrounded them, and there was no way to tell where someone might have gone from that very spot. He looked between two trees, when he felt the need to turn that way.

“Where are you going?” Yuri asked from behind.

Yuuri realised that he was standing by himself now and had, in fact, taken a few steps towards the direction that felt right.

“We should go this way,” he said.

Yuri sniffed.

“That’s stupid,” the omega argued. “It would make more sense to go forward.”

“No, this is the right way,” Yuuri said and started walking.

His legs felt weak and he struggled to stay up, especially when he got to a spot were roots were everywhere, just the right distance apart to make one stub a toe on them and trip. After avoiding a fall for the third time, he was startled by a touch on his arm. He turned to look at Yuri who wrapped the arm around him shoulders again.

“If you fall again I’m leaving you there,” Yuri snapped.

Yuuri smiled at the omega who determinedly wasn’t looking at him.

“We need to turn here,” he said after a while.

This time Yuri followed him without complaints. Walking was getting easier, and soon Yuuri didn’t need to rely so heavily on the omega to stay up. He felt something pulling in his chest, and he followed the pull, feeling like that was the only way to make it feel better. Yuri remained quietly by his side, hovering there even after he didn’t need the omega’s help to walk anymore.

They came to a trail and followed it forward. It was easier now that there weren’t roots trying to trip them, and Yuuri found himself hurrying his steps. The pull in his chest was intensifying, and he prayed that it wasn’t simple anxiety but something meaningful. He hoped that it was his bond to Viktor.

“Someone’s coming,” Yuri said and stopped.

Yuuri hadn’t heard anything but stopped to listen too. He heard someone walking with heavy feet, slowly towards them. The pull in his chest was so strong he couldn’t keep still, so he started running, Yuri’s calls behind him falling into deaf ears.

The trail made a sharp turn, and there, behind the trees, was Otabek with Viktor in his arms.

“Viktor!” Yuuri yelled and ran over to the omega whose head was rolling over Otabek’s shoulder.

“He’s asleep,” Otabek said.

Viktor was leaning his head on Otabek’s shoulder that was covered with Yuuri’s shirt.

“Is he okay?” Yuuri asked.

“Viktor!” Yuri gasped behind him and hurried over.

“He’s tired,” Otabek said. “He was quite distressed when I found him, but your scent calmed him down.”

Yuuri felt tears in his eyes as he looked at Viktor’s sleeping face. The omega looked so carefree and happy with his nose pressed against Yuuri’s undershirt. He felt the pull in his chest, but it was calmer now, it was a sense of warmth spreading over his body, and he was now certain it was his bond to Viktor. He hadn’t known a bond could be something so meaningful, but he was glad it was there.

“Where did you find him?” he asked and softly stroked Viktor’s hair, picking off a leaf that had stuck on the silver strands.

“Not very far from here,” Otabek said. “He was sitting under a tree.”

“And you’re sure he’s fine?” Yuuri asked, now turning to look at Otabek.

“He’s just tired,” Otabek said. “Probably thirsty and hungry too.”

Yuuri looked at Viktor again. The omega looked peaceful. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what had happened to make Viktor want to leave.

“Did he say anything?” Yuuri asked.

“He was reluctant to let me get close at first,” Otabek said. “I showed him your shirt, and he calmed down. He was too emotional to walk so I carried him.”

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, looking at Otabek earnestly. “Thank you for finding him.”

Otabek mumbled something in response, and Yuuri forced himself to stop going overboard with how grateful he was. He knew that Otabek didn’t handle praise well, and his attention was already turning back to Viktor.

“Can you carry him all the way back?” he asked.

“Yes,” Otabek said, sounding confident, and they started walking, returning the pathway towards where they had come from.

 _What was going on with Viktor?_ was the most prominent question in Yuuri’s mind. Viktor must have been unhappy to want to leave. Was Yuuri the source of his unhappiness? Viktor had lived with Yakov and Yuri for months without wanting to go, it must have been meaningful that it had happened now. Maybe Yuri was right, and he really had messed up Viktor’s life. Maybe Viktor had been much happier without him. However, it was too late now. He had marked Viktor twice, he had claimed Viktor as his omega in all the possible ways, so he was now responsible for making sure Viktor was content with everything.

Did Viktor regret his pregnancy? Maybe the omega didn’t want to keep the baby but was too scared of terminating the pregnancy because of what had happened before. He would have to ask, he would have to press until Viktor gave him a truthful answer.

But he had to make sure not to make Viktor feel cornered and pressured into saying something he didn’t really mean.

Yuuri wiped his eyes that were tearing up again. It was starting to get dark, and he was tired. He wanted to slide into bed and not get up before he felt like he knew how to handle life on his own, without the help of his parents or servants, taking care of Viktor. He knew that Yakov had been kind to him, had been willing to help him with anything he might need, but would the man have changed his mind now that he had seen how miserable Viktor was over having a future with Yuuri, without Yuri’s support?

Viktor groaned, and Yuuri immediately turned to look. They all stopped walking, and Viktor slowly raised his head.

“What?” Viktor asked, the word sloppy and tired.

Then the omega turned to look at Yuri, face immediately lighting up.

“Yuratchka,” he said tiredly.

“Don’t call me that,” Yuri muttered, but without heat.

Viktor turned towards Yuuri, yelped in surprised, and struggled to get out of Otabek’s hold. Slowly the alpha let Viktor down, and immediately after being released, Viktor jumped towards Yuuri, pulling him into a hug.

“Yuuri!” Viktor cried out. “Yuuri! I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” Yuuri responded.

He didn’t know why Viktor was apologising. He didn’t want to know. He was just happy that Viktor was so happy to see him, so eager to see him and to be close to him. Viktor smelled familiar, like home, and Yuuri allowed himself this moment to simply breathe in the omega’s scent and feel the warmth between their bodies, listen to Viktor breathe and simply be right there next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor said again.

Yuuri nuzzled against the omega’s scent gland, almost blissful with the scent.

“You don’t have to apologise,” he said.

“I can’t live without you, Yuuri,” Viktor mumbled and pressed his face against Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri heard a hiss from Yuri, disapproval of Viktor’s words. It made his heart ache to think that the omega didn’t approve of Viktor’s choice of living his life as an omega. He hugged Viktor just a bit tighter, hoping that somehow, he could fill the void Yuri’s anger had created, that he could be enough for Viktor until one day Yuri would come to terms with their relationship.

“I want to go home with you,” Viktor whispered, his lips brushing against Yuuri’s skin.

“We’ll go home together,” Yuuri replied and pressed a kiss on Viktor’s scent gland. “Are you tired? You shouldn’t be straining yourself in your condition.”

Viktor pulled back just enough to look at Yuuri’s face.

“I’m going to have your baby,” Viktor said quietly, each word filled with awe and eyes round as he watched Yuuri’s face. “It’s Yuuri’s baby.”

Viktor pulled away even more and looked down to his tummy. Yuuri smiled and stroked his shoulder.

“Should Otabek carry you home?” he asked. “You’ve been on your feet so much.”

Viktor glanced at Otabek before turning to look at Yuuri again. Then seemed to remember that Yuri was there as well, turned to look at the omega, eyes shimmering in the darkening forest.

“Yuratchka,” Viktor said, voice filled with sorrow and yearning.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Viktor,” Yuri said, voice hard and cold. “Don’t you dare walk away without me.”

With that the omega turned on his heels and strode off. Yuuri turned to Viktor and found him smiling. Viktor took a hold of his hand.

“I can walk,” the omega said. “Take me home, Yuuri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm too impatient to hold on to this chapter any longer. Also I've been taking such massive breaks with this fic, it's only fair that you get another update this quickly.
> 
> I hope I won't get badly stuck again, but you never know, and I've only barely started the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

He woke up, and the first thing he saw was Yuuri. Yuuri was watching his face and smiled when he opened his eyes.

“Did you sleep well?” Yuuri asked.

He was too tired to speak, so he merely nodded. He was still groggy, and he didn’t feel the need to wake up any quicker than it would take. Then he noticed that there was a big scab on Yuuri’s chin and couldn’t close his eyes anymore.

“What happened to your chin?” he asked, reaching out a hand but then pulling it away as if it might hurt Yuuri.

“I fell in the woods,” Yuuri said.

“You fell,” Viktor repeated quietly.

“I was really worried about you, Viktor,” Yuuri said, redirecting Viktor’s thoughts.

The previous day came flooding back, and his heart clenched with guilt. He pulled the blanket over the lower half of his face, looking at Yuuri with the guiltiest expression he had ever felt on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Maybe he had messed up everything. Maybe Yuuri would stop treating him nicely after what he had pulled. He didn’t deserve any kindness after that.

“You don’t have to apologise, Viktor,” Yuuri said, face remaining worried but soft. “I only ask that you tell me why.”

Viktor pulled the blanket a bit more up, only barely seeing Yuuri over it now.

“I’m a bad omega,” he said quietly.

Yuuri sighed, and it made Viktor’s stomach twist. Yuuri closed his eyes and rubbed his temple before looking at him again.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said. “You are not a bad omega. You are not a bad person. You are… You’re just you, you’re Viktor. And you’re not bad.”

“But I ran away,” Viktor argued weakly.

Yuuri looked at him long and hard, watching his eyes evading direct contact, and his face was burning with shame. He felt that he should get up and bend over so Yuuri could punish him, and the thought made him feel nauseous. That’s exactly what had pushed him to go.

Why had he stopped? He tried to bring back his thoughts and feelings from the day before. It was the same self-loathing he was feeling right now, and he had wanted to escape it. He had run, he had walked, he had stumbled over his own feet, but he shouldn’t have gotten tired so fast. He was no stranger to walking for days with minimal rest, but as he had walked on and on, he had started to feel like every step he took was heavier than the last, every minute twitch of his muscles was wearing him down.

And then there was the image of Yuuri, Yuuri always by his side. He remembered first seeing Yuuri, fighting just as hard as he always had, but Yuuri had looked at him with peace, even some semblance of understanding. Sometimes he had dreams about Yuuri sitting on the bed by him, looking at him with worry, his soft, almost royal fingers brushing against Viktor’s neck and the drop of a heavy collar between them, and Viktor wondered if those dreams were real memories from when he had been sick in Yuuri’s care. He had thought of how much it hurt him when Yuuri left him alone, how much he had missed seeing Yuuri’s soft face and feeling the calm Yuuri’s presence had given him ever since he had been scented. And he had remembered the look on Yuuri’s face as he climbed into Yakov’s carriage, saying goodbye forever, how Yuuri had cried silently in the middle of the street, and when Viktor had turned to look back right before they turned a corner, he had seen Yuuri fall down on his knees, a hand clutching his chest as he let out the wail of a wounded animal.

He had tried to walk on, but he had remembered Yuuri down on the ground, bowing down to Yakov and him, begging for a chance to talk, just to talk to him, how his hair had grown out of shape and how his scent had immediately filled Viktor with joy, the feeling of belonging. He remembered knowing that the nightmares were over, he would never be plagued by them again because Yuuri was with him, Yuuri, who had left his home and travelled for days just for a chance to speak to him once more. He thought about Yuuri’s face when they embraced, when they kissed, when they made love, how many times Yuuri had looked at him with quiet exasperation when he insisted on implementing his past experiences on their relationship. He had thought about the way Yuuri looked at him just that day, seeing him cry and on the verge of panic, how warm his hug had been.

And he had pretty much collapsed to the ground, tears blurring his vision because he had left all that behind and for what? He was afraid, but he wasn’t alone. He knew that even if something would go wrong with Yuuri, Yakov would find a way to help him. Yakov had always found a way.

“All I need to know is why,” Yuuri said. “What can I do to make you feel safer with me?”

Viktor looked at Yuuri, whose eyes were glistening in the morning’s light. The sincere look on his face made Viktor want to trust everything he said.

“I hate,” he started to say, then wasn’t sure how to continue.

Yuuri’s face dropped.

“What do you hate?” he asked, pain in his voice. “Do you… You don’t hate being around me, do you?”

The insecurity in Yuuri’s voice when he asked that question was overwhelming Viktor, and he closed his eyes, squeezed them shut as tight as he could to stop tearing up.

“I hate myself when I’m around you,” he whispered into the blanket.

Viktor opened his eyes just enough to see Yuuri. Yuuri looked taken aback, then the crease between his brows deepened.

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked. “Why do you hate yourself?”

The look on his face was that of heartbreak, and Viktor couldn’t watch. He pulled the blanket over his eyes, only the top of his head now visible, but he could still feel Yuuri’s eyes on him through the fabric.

“Please, Viktor,” Yuuri said, and his voice sounded miserable. “I want to support you, but I can’t if you won’t let me.”

Viktor bit his lip. He knew that he should talk to Yuuri, he knew that it might end up being helpful for him, but he was so scared. He felt sick just thinking about opening up like that. What if Yuuri would later use it against him? What if Yuuri was only trying to find out how to best control him? What if Yuuri would get tired of him being such a burden and leave, what if Yuuri took him to an omega shelter because he no longer wanted to own him?

“Viktor?” Yuuri asked, and his voice was merely a whisper.

“Why did you come after me?” Viktor asked.

Deflecting the question felt like the best thing to do, although he knew that Yuuri wouldn’t let him avoid answering infinitely.

“Why wouldn’t I have?” Yuuri asked, sounding genuinely confused. “I love you, Viktor. I was worried that something bad happened.”

“So,” Viktor said slowly. “You wouldn’t let me leave? If I wanted to go, you would always follow me?”

Yuuri let out a noise resembling a squeak.

“If you,” Yuuri said, then stopped to swallow audibly. “If you really wanted to leave and didn’t want me to follow, you would only have to tell me. If you tell me to leave you, I will.”

“Even if I tell you right now?” Viktor asked.

“Right… right now?” Yuuri repeated.

He sounded like he was in disbelief. Viktor wished that he could see Yuuri’s face without revealing his own. He needed to see the face Yuuri was making to know if it was genuine.

“Right now,” he said. “I… Maybe I don’t want to be with you.”

Yuuri was eerily silent. Viktor couldn’t even hear him breathe, but he smelled the indistinguishable scent of an alpha right next to him. It was overpowering him, and he wanted to submit, he wanted to open up his body and soul and let it consume him, but he refused to listen to that side of himself.

“Why?” Yuuri asked, voice dry and quiet. “Did I do something wrong?”

Viktor didn’t know what to say to that.

“So you demand an answer?” he asked instead. “You won’t leave me alone unless I give you a good reason?”

“I don’t…” Yuuri said, then sat up. “I… Do you… Did you mean it? Do you want me to leave?”

“Yes,” Viktor said.

He heard how his voice broke, but Yuuri gasped so loudly that he probably didn’t notice. Viktor waited with bated breath, heart beating loudly in his ears, and he heard Yuuri slide away.

“I’m sorry, Viktor,” Yuuri said. “I didn’t realise… I should have thought about you, but I was only thinking about myself.”

Yuuri was standing up, his scent something Viktor hadn’t smelled before: a mix of worry and urgency, and the same scent he had noticed when he had told Yuuri that he was leaving: heartbreak.

“Don’t go,” he whispered.

Yuuri didn’t hear him, was gathering his clothes and mumbling to himself. Yuuri being so self-absorbed didn’t feel right. Yuuri never put himself first. Ever since the day they met, Yuuri had been making sure to make Viktor feel safe and loved – and free. Viktor, he was the selfish one. He had been suspicious of Yuuri ever since the beginning, although for a good reason, but when was it going to be enough? How much proving did Yuuri still need to do before he would believe? Was it ever going to be enough? Was he going to continue pushing Yuuri away until – until what? Until Yuuri gave up on him and left? Until he would suddenly be satisfied with what Yuuri had proven to him already?

His cheeks were burning with the words he hadn’t said, that he needed to say but didn’t know how, didn’t want to know how. He heard Yuuri getting dressed, then thought about Yuuri’s scabby chin.

“Don’t leave,” Viktor said and pulled the blanket off his face.

Yuuri stopped. He had just been buttoning a shirt that apparently had blood on the collar. Viktor sat up on the bed, staring at the blood.

“Why is there blood?” he asked. “Are you hurt?”

Yuuri made an odd sound in his throat, looked down to his shirt, but probably couldn’t see anything because he quickly unbuttoned the few buttons he had gotten right and pulled the shirt off to look at the collar.

“Oh,” Yuuri said, and to his relief Viktor confirmed that there were no wounds on his neck or collarbones. “That’s right, I wore this yesterday. I forgot.”

Yuuri turned his eyes to Viktor, and Viktor wanted to dive under covers again. He fought the urge, he fought it so hard his face was flaming and body shaking.

“I don’t want you to go,” he forced out, then couldn’t hold on any longer and lay down, the blanket covering his face again. “I want you to stay.”

Yuuri was quiet, but Viktor could hear his presence. Yuuri wasn’t leaving any longer. It calmed him. It calmed him.

“I’m sorry,” Viktor mumbled.

“You don’t have to apologise,” Yuuri said, and Viktor was, once again, surprised to find his voice sounding completely sincere. “But I do wish you would talk to me.”

“I hate what I become around you,” Viktor blurted out before his mind could catch up.

Yuuri went quiet, movement stopping, and Viktor could only hear his own heart beating. Then Yuuri’s presence shifted, it was closer, Yuuri was right next to him from across the room, and Viktor didn’t understand it.

“I can feel your pain,” Yuuri said, somewhat thoughtful, maybe even surprised.

Viktor didn’t know what to say. He didn’t understand what Yuuri meant. He had said one simple sentence, so how could Yuuri possibly understand him?

“Have you noticed it too, Viktor?” Yuuri asked, and he was now walking closer, each step bringing his calming warmth closer. “Have you noticed how our bond really binds us?”

Viktor shook his head because he still didn’t understand.

“I noticed it yesterday,” Yuuri said and sat at the edge of the bed. “When we were getting closer, I could feel you pull me towards you. I knew where to find you.”

Viktor frowned as he thought.

“But Otabek found me,” he said.

Yuuri laughed bitterly.

“I’m not strong like him,” he said. “I’m weak. I’m so weak.”

There was a new kind of note of sadness in Yuuri’s voice, and Viktor peeked at him from behind the blanket. Yuuri had his head resting on his hands, and he felt a twist in his gut.

“I couldn’t even make you happy,” Yuuri said. “I have done nothing right. I’m sorry Viktor. I thought… I thought that somehow I could fix you just with my love, but now I understand it’s not enough. I… You have to be honest, Viktor. Do you even want to have my baby? If you don’t… You’ll have to tell me. I need to know what you need. What do I need to do to make you happy?”

Viktor could feel each word sink into his skin. This was Yuuri’s true face, he thought – no, he knew. He had no idea how he knew it, but he had never been as certain about Yuuri’s true intentions as he was right now.

“I made such a big mistake,” Yuuri continued rambling, “taking you in, even though you clearly didn’t want it. You didn’t even need it. You don’t need me for anything, but I wanted to think that somehow… Yuri is right. I messed up your life. You were… You would have been happy with just him and Yakov, but I was so selfish I…”

Yuuri burst to tears before he could finish the thought. Viktor had a storm inside him and he didn’t know what to think, so he caught on to the one detail that had stood out to him.

“When did you talk to Yura?” he asked.

Yuuri sniffled and wiped his eyes.

“Yesterday,” Yuuri said. “When I… He helped me… We were looking for you and I couldn’t move.”

Viktor was even more confused but didn’t want to make Yuuri talk too much about the previous day. A part of it was because he was still hopeful that maybe Yuuri would forget to ask him more about it, but also because he felt Yuuri’s pain so intensely. He had never been so attuned to someone else’s pain, not even back when he had watched Yuri beaten and used, when he had seen Yuri cry endless tears with no promise of a better future. He didn’t understand what made this situation so special in that sense.

“If you want me to leave you alone, you’ll have to tell me,” Yuuri said. “And… And if you don’t want to keep the baby, I’ll arrange it. I’ll take care of everything.”

Viktor sat up slowly. He wasn’t sure if Yuuri even noticed it. Yuuri had turned his head away, and Viktor could only see the corner of his eye. Yuuri had his eyes closed. Viktor imagined the tears streaming down his face. His kind face. Yuuri’s kind face.

“I don’t know what I want,” he said honestly.

Yuuri turned to look at him, eyes red and puffy, face wet.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

Viktor shook his head.

“I want you to stay,” he said quietly.

Yuuri sniffled and nodded. A couple of new tears creeped down his face. Viktor wanted to reach out and touch their wet path, wipe them away. Instead he squeezed the blanket in his hands.

“I…” he swallowed and looked away from Yuuri. “I want to have a baby with you. I want to be a family with you.”

Yuuri sighed, and the relief on his face made Viktor’s heart jump.

“Okay,” Yuuri said, probably more to himself than to Viktor. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry I left,” Viktor said, using his sudden courage to say the things he knew Yuuri wanted to hear. “I suddenly thought that maybe you… I got scared. I don’t want to be scared of you.”

Yuuri made a noise, but Viktor couldn’t interpret it.

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” Yuuri said, eyes now glistening for a completely different reason than sorrow.

Viktor’s cheeks heated up. He hadn’t realised what his words were implicating. He cleared his throat to quickly get everything else out before he lost his courage again.

“I’m scared of myself,” he said. “I don’t like what I become around you. I… I hate being omega. I hate being so submissive to you. I hate being so drawn to everything about you, and I hate how much I want to feel you on my body and inside me. And, and I’m scared that I will lose who I want to be. I don’t want to be the show omega I used to be. I hate it.”

Yuuri had leaned closer, his hand now hovering next to Viktor’s. Viktor bit his lip, then took a hold of Yuuri’s hand. They were both quiet, watching their clasped hands, and slowly Viktor laced their fingers together. Yuuri didn’t move, let him set the pace, and Viktor felt like he should have known it all along, that Yuuri wasn’t the kind of an alpha to force him to do anything. He could be in control of himself. He could…

“I don’t know how to help you,” Yuuri said. “I don’t want you to hate your feelings, whether they’re the natural urges of an omega or your thoughts.”

Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s hand lightly.

“We should ask Yakov,” Yuuri said. “He knows so much. Maybe he can help you.”

Viktor nodded, although a part of him was convinced that he was beyond help.

“I will do anything to make you feel better,” Yuuri said.

Viktor looked at his face. Yuuri was beautiful. Viktor had never noticed it, had never thought to describe Yuuri like that. He could hardly believe how familiar and comforting Yuuri’s face had become over such a short amount of time. The terrifying angles of an alpha were completely gone, and Viktor wondered if this was the first time he was viewing Yuuri as a person rather than an alpha.

“You’re a better person than me,” he said in awe over the revelation.

“I doubt that,” Yuuri said with a frown.

“I just,” Viktor started, then thought about it more, how to put his thoughts into words, how to make Yuuri understand properly. “You keep telling me that you see me as a person. But do you really?”

Yuuri smiled so softly it melted any remaining fears in Viktor.

“I’m doing my best,” Yuuri said. “You know that I was raised to be an alpha and have that view of the world and the people in it, but I’m doing my hardest to see you as a person and not as an omega. You’re much more than that, and I think that because I’ve seen it, I can look deeper into you. You’re… You’re so much more than your alluring scent and your body’s natural urges. You’re not omega. You’re Viktor.”

Viktor felt tears in his eyes, and it surprised him. He wasn’t sure what it was about Yuuri’s words that had done it, but he felt like right now, in this one moment, he truly was Viktor and nothing less.

“I’ve been unfair to you,” he whispered. “I keep only seeing you as an alpha.”

“It’s only natural,” Yuuri said, the smile not leaving his face. “I understand why you might struggle to see past it.”

“But it’s not fair,” Viktor mumbled, closing his eyes for a moment to hopefully keep the tears at bay.

“I’m sure that with time you can learn to look through it,” Yuuri said. “I will continue to do my hardest to help you see me as something… something more than a controlling alpha.”

“You never even really tried to control me,” Viktor pointed out quietly. “I just keep thinking that because I’m so scared.”

“It’s only natural, isn’t it,” Yuuri said. “You have gone through so much at the hands of an alpha I would be surprised if you could blindly trust me.”

Viktor snorted suddenly, the noise wet and wavering.

“Since when were you so sensitive to me?” he asked. “You never understood.”

“I’ve been reading,” Yuuri said. “Every day while you were staying with me, I was reading about the omega nature, the alpha nature, anything relating to abuse and how it might affect an omega. After you left, I didn’t have the energy… I couldn’t even leave my bed, so I stopped reading, but I had a book with me on the way here.”

Viktor had once again noticed a detail that intrigued him, so he latched onto it.

“You couldn’t leave your bed?” he asked. “I didn’t realise you meant that when you were telling me about… about that time.”

“I once left to lie in your nest,” Yuuri said quietly, looking down to their linked hands. “It soothed my pain. But the next time I woke up, I was back in my own bed and your nest was gone.”

Yuuri sniffled, and a single tear dropped onto Viktor’s hand.

“It felt like you were gone forever,” Yuuri whispered.

Viktor’s thoughts were frozen. Yuuri had told him multiple times that he loved him, but something had stopped Viktor from completely believing it. However, right now he felt that Yuuri was being truthful, he felt the pain Yuuri had felt without him, and he felt how devastating losing his nest had been to Yuuri. He blinked and tried to gather his thoughts but found it difficult.

“I always feel like I shouldn’t say things like this,” Yuuri said. “I fear that you’ll see it as me trying to manipulate you, but Viktor. I don’t know how I could live without you. I… I love you so much that being separated from you is crushing.”

A second tear fell onto Viktor’s skin. He saw Yuuri squeeze his eyes shut, a sniffle rippling through Yuuri’s body.

“I stopped running because I missed you,” Viktor said.

Yuuri lifted his head up and looked at him, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked.

“Yesterday,” Viktor said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how much… I love you, Yuuri. And I didn’t want to go anymore.”

“Do you,” Yuuri started to ask, then cleared his throat when his voice broke. “Do you think that’s our bond?”

Viktor cocked his head and thought. He had been bonded to his master but had never felt the aching need to return after he and Yuri had run away. Why would his bond with Yuuri be different? Could it be the marks on his neck? Did it have something to do with how his heat had immediately synced with Yuuri’s rut? He didn’t understand.

“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “How can our bond be different than the one I had with… the one I had before?”

Yuuri frowned and bit his lip, blinking the tears away.

“I don’t know either,” he said. “But I also don’t know how else to explain everything.”

Viktor sighed. He wished that life was easier. That love was easier. He wished that Yuuri’s love could heal him, wished that his own love could push away all the hesitations he still had.

“Do you think Yakov would know?” Yuuri asked.

“We can ask,” Viktor said. “But only when Yuri can’t hear. He’s not… He doesn’t believe in bonds.”

“Yeah, he said something like that,” Yuuri said and blushed.

Viktor wanted to ask him about it but didn’t know how. Luckily, Yuuri continued talking.

“He told me it’s ridiculous to think that there could be a bond between two people,” Yuuri said, then smiled. “He laughed at me when I thought that I could feel you from such a distance.”

“That sounds like him,” Viktor said quietly. “I can’t believe he helped you.”

“Me neither,” Yuuri said and smiled brightly. “Maybe he doesn’t hate me as much as I thought.”

Viktor smiled too but kept his thoughts to himself. He knew that Yuri was resentful over Yuuri apparently stealing him away from Yuri, but he had also seen Yuri’s face last night. He had seen that Yuri was worried, he had seen the love that was often absent from Yuri’s angry face just because Yuri was so used to hiding his emotions. But he wasn’t sure if he could say that Yuri was any less hateful to Yuuri, even if they had worked together.

“What do you want to do today, Viktor?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor turned his eyes back to Yuuri’s face. Yuuri looked calmer, the tears gone from his eyes but signs of them still all over his face.

“What about you?” Viktor asked, too surprised to say anything else.

“I want us to do something you’ll enjoy,” Yuuri said. “The only thing I want for myself is to visit a book store. I want to learn more about pregnancy, so I can support you better.”

Viktor didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to express his gratitude, but there was still a part of him that was too suspicious to trust everything, making it very hard for him to put his thoughts into words.

“So,” Yuuri said. “What would you like to do?”

“Will you scent me?” Viktor asked.

He wasn’t sure where the thought had come from, but the more he thought about it the more appealing it seemed. Maybe being scented by Yuuri would ease the nervous nagging at the back of his heart and help him trust Yuuri.

“Of course,” Yuuri said with a smile.

Viktor turned his head to reveal his scent gland. He found it exhilarating to bare his neck for an alpha, something he had never thought he could feel. He closed his eyes as Yuuri leaned closer, felt the warm breath over his skin, imagined how the air bent differently over the ragged edges of his healed mark. He shivered when Yuuri’s skin met his, when their glands lined up and he felt his scent pour out like liquid, he felt Yuuri’s heartbeat in himself, a perfect calm right in his core, and he lifted his hand to Yuuri’s head, blindly pushing his fingertips through soft hair and skin, Yuuri’s cheek giving under his touch. Yuuri gasped quietly and pressed their necks together harder, the rub of their skins sending sparks over Viktor’s body.

Yuuri’s hand was resting on Viktor’s thigh and Viktor couldn’t stop hoping that Yuuri would move it, just a bit, just a bit closer to his groin where heat was already pooling and making him wet. He grasped Yuuri’s hair with one hand, the other trailing over Yuuri’s skin, brushing over the edges of Yuuri’s undershirt. He vowed to stop running. Every time he got uncertain, he would just ask Yuuri to scent him, keep holding on to the feelings that were making his heart flutter now that Yuuri was with him.

He turned his head just enough to kiss Yuuri’s shoulder. The skin was warm, just a bit clammy with sweat, and Viktor opened his lips to kiss it again, taste Yuuri on his tongue, and he knew what he wanted next.

“Yuuri,” he said, and slowly they separated. “I want you to mark me again.”

Yuuri blinked rapidly in surprise.

“But,” he said, voice weak. “You already have a mark on both sides.”

Viktor looked Yuuri in the eyes.

“I want you to mark me everywhere,” he said. “I need you to mark my neck.”

Yuuri bit his lip, clearly at a loss for words.

“I want a mark to the back of my neck,” Viktor said.

Yuuri opened his mouth but nothing came out. Viktor took a hold of his hands.

“Please, Yuuri,” he said.

Yuuri closed his mouth and licked his lips.

“Are you sure?” he asked, voice still unusually weak.

“I’ve never been this sure about something,” Viktor said.

Yuuri watched his face, clearly looking for a reason to refuse. Viktor knew he wouldn’t find anything.

“But why?” Yuuri asked then.

Viktor cocked his head, wondering if Yuuri was hoping that his reasoning wasn’t good enough. He then decided to trust that Yuuri would do what he asked.

“I never want to belong to anyone else,” he said.

“But Viktor,” Yuuri started to say, but Viktor lifted his fingers to Yuuri’s lips.

“You are the only alpha who lets me belong to myself,” he said. “By belonging to you I can be more than an omega.”

Yuuri swallowed. Viktor lowered his hand and took a hold of Yuuri’s free hand again.

“Is this some weird plan to make your neck so unattractive no one else would want to touch you?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor sniggered.

“That sounds like something I would do,” he said with a smile. “But I already have this scar.”

He turned his left arm to show its jagged edges to Yuuri. The way Yuuri’s eyes darkened with sorrow and possessive anger made his heart jump with pleasure.

“I’m getting too old,” Viktor added quietly. “Alphas only want omegas that are young and cute.”

Yuuri looked at him in question, and he couldn’t help the bitter laugh that left his lips.

“You really don’t know anything about how omegas are treated,” he said. “Do you think that most of the runaway omegas ran because they were appreciated for their beauty? Most of the omegas I knew during my time on the streets were in their thirties or older. Some of them had been kicked out by their alphas. Some had escaped on the way to a shelter. Some escaped after their owners wanted to use them only to breed new omegas to sell for high prices. Do you know how much money you can get for an omega baby?”

“But,” Yuuri said, and Viktor could nearly see his mind try to wrap around everything he had just said. “But there’s no way to tell a baby is omega.”

Viktor shook his head with a dry laugh.

“It’s highly unlikely that an omega will give birth to anything but another omega,” he said. “It’s only a small gamble to buy a baby born from an omega.”

“You’re exaggerating, right?” Yuuri asked, and there was fear in his voice.

Viktor shook his head, this time completely serious.

“There are puppy mills,” he said. “I’ve met the omegas who ran away after giving birth to several pups, usually without a proper break in between. Some had managed to get away before their first pup was born. They were either running with a child or… Sometimes the babies don’t survive.”

“Why… How can that be?” Yuuri asked. “Why isn’t anyone stopping it?”

Viktor shrugged.

“Nobody cares,” he said, flinching at the steely coldness in his voice. “Omegas don’t matter.”

Yuuri let go of Viktor’s hands, and Viktor turned to look at him in question. He hardly had time to see Yuuri approaching before he was pulled into a strong embrace, Yuuri’s hands keeping him together.

“I never want you to feel like that again,” Yuuri said against Viktor’s hair. “I want to… Maybe this sounds stupid, but I want to do something to help all the omegas who have to suffer. I don’t know how, but I… I had no idea how harsh the world could be to you.”

Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s waist.

“I can’t believe I was lucky enough to be picked up by you,” he whispered.

Yuuri kissed his hair, his ear, his neck. Viktor let him undress him, let Yuuri touch him with soft, hesitant hands, then rough and determined, and when they were lying side by side, sweaty and out of breath, Viktor smiled against the crook of Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri’s lips were tinted with blood and Viktor’s nape was stinging, but he wouldn’t have changed even the smallest detail of that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been very good but at least I finally read through this chapter. There isn't a next chapter yet so it will probably take another forever to update. I'm just too sad right now.

**Author's Note:**

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> 
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